Don’t get me wrong, I love Rainbow Comic. That’s why I spend so much time reading it, even though I am not five.
One of my favourite things about Rainbow Comic is the way they end every issue with a rubbish joke on the back cover. Normally the jokes make no sense, and even when they do they’re a bit shit. There’s usually some really convoluted plot that has, at best, a tenuous link to the joke. Allow me to share some of my favourites –
1. “I think you’ll find…”
George bringing pedantry to a whole new level here. Come on George, it’s obvious that Bungle is trying to tell you a joke. On what planet is he just going to come up to you and ask “What do birds use to clean their houses?” You KNOW it’s a fucking joke, stop being such a dick and spoiling his joke. I know it’s Bungle, but the joke might turn out to be really good. As it is, you’ve ruined it with your nit-picking. When people do this on Twitter I shun them. And call them a twat.
This joke is pretty normal. Ok, it involves Bungle doing something strange with his legs, but the punchline is pretty run of the mill. What really cracks me up is Zippy’s massively inappropriate reaction –
Who stands there and says “Oh no” after someone tells a joke? Unless he just came out of a coma and realised Bungle was in the room. That would justify the Oh no”.
We get the “Oh no” surprisingly often. Here’s George demonstrating the technique, although that might just be because, as we learned earlier, George does not understand jokes. In fact, his “Oh no” here signifies that he thought he and Zippy were having a serious conversation about a crocodile with a camera. There is no evidence whatsoever to suggest that George has understood that Zippy is funning him.
3. Trying too hard
Zippy’s pulling the old ‘This dust works because there aren’t any elephants in here’ routine. However, Zippy has gone to extraordinary lengths to set up this joke. He has gone to the trouble of collecting an entire box of dust and random bits of shit from around the house, then standing in the living room waiting for someone to come in so he can start sprinkling it around. Even then he has to rely on the person who came in giving a fuck about what he was doing.
The other explanation, of course, is that this is just a hilarious coincidence. Zippy just happened to be throwing a fucking box of dust around the living room, for no reason.
George and Bungle have found an ant in the garden. Good for them. This joke relies heavily on the fact that ‘ant’ sounds like ‘aunt’. Zippy decides to find his own ant, then declare that “if that was an ant, this must be an UNCLE!” I have no idea why UNCLE is in all caps.
When you examine this joke more closely, you can’t help wondering why Zippy thinks this one is the ‘uncle’. All I can come up with is that this ant has a penis and the other one doesn’t.
Also, why the hell is there a random exclamation mark in the bottom panel?
This isn’t even a joke, it’s just Zippy and George arguing over a hat. Anyway, that’s not the reason I’ve included this. I think Rainbow Comic’s main back cover artist must have been off sick for a couple of weeks, and his job was covered by someone who usually draws nightmares for a living. Why are Zippy and George constantly shaking? Why does George have such enormous muscles? And what the hell’s the deal with his huge neck in panel 3? And again with the weird random exclamation mark.
6. George again
Here we see George going the extra mile and sabotaging HIS OWN JOKE. For god’s sake George.
You see the bit where Zippy has a go at answering you? That’s traditionally the bit where you put him out of his misery and tell him the punchline. You don’t add to his misery by starting a philosophical discussion about fish transport.
7. “I’m not a key!”
One – why is Zippy so worried that Bungle is saying he’s a key? I’d just be slightly puzzled, not obviously terrified like Zippy. Two – Does Zippy keep his spare zip hanging from that lamp? Three – I would prefer this strip if the conclusion had been Bungle saying “Yes you are! You’re wan-key.”
8. Trying too hard part 2
Here, Zippy has gone to the trouble of bringing a fishing net to the train station, just so he can do his joke. For those of you about to reply with “They might be going to the seaside so there” – shut up. Then shut up again. They’re not going to the seaside because I say so. Also, shut up.