The original verses of The 12 Days Of Christmas went up to 1,000,000,000. Verse 983 included the gift of a triceratops.
The current moon is the third replacement we’ve had since 1983.
Red Bull is cursed.
If you cut a worm in half, the two new worms will take up folk music in 8 out of 10 cases
‘Lego’ literally translates as ‘made of legs’.
Packard Bell is owned by a (now deceased) wasp due to an administrative error.
If you drink 20 spoons of Calpol in one go, you have the temporary ability to know the endings of all books.
Babies were originally 4′ tall.
Nobody has ever actually played football, they’re all lying.
Burger King was invented by author Stephen King, under the pseudonym Stephen Burger.
The Atari 2600 was invented by the Romans, but they forgot about it.
Nicolas Cage’s Left Behind is the most popular movie in Doncaster.
BBC Look North newsreader Peter Levy has the world’s longest toe. He uses it to turn his autocue on and off.
Greggs was founded by arsonists.
Rod, Jane and Freddy were considered for the role of James Bond before Pierce Brosnan.
The average penis size is 12, but no one knows if that refers to inches or centimetres.
The first hammers were made of ham.
In the Cayman Islands, a woman is only considered eligible if she owns loads of biros.
Dinosaurs never actually went extinct, but they are due to do so next Thursday.
Most people can lift buses over their heads, but can’t be bothered to try.
1997 was the only year in history with no Tuesdays.
The green man at pedestrian crossings was modelled on actor Reg Varney, the first person in Britain to cross the road.
If you can prove you’ve never watched TV, you get free lightbulbs for life.
You don’t hear the sea if you put a shell to your ears, what you actually hear is Arthur Fowler from Eastenders.
The Karate Kid was originally going to be about crown green bowls.
Continues after the advert…
Neptune is the solar system’s most racist planet.
The ‘PG’ in PG Tips stands for ‘parental guidance’.
Noel Edmonds invented spoons out of spite.
The sky was lowered in 1975, in an effort to make it easier to clean.
Most cats are actually breeds of dog.
The Queen is allowed one unofficial death before her actual death.
The Fiat Cinquicento was the only car to be powered by being passive-aggressive.
If you get a perfect score in Microsoft Freecell, you are sent a badge with which you can summon God.
Norman Wisdom knew where the Holy Grail was, but wouldn’t tell anyone.
If you go to any dentist and ask for a ‘4.30 special’, they will give you a spare set of teeth for best.
Ritz crackers develop hallucinogenic properties if you microwave them.
Kitkats and Kit E Kat are actually the same product, packaged differently.
A ‘baker’s dozen’ is actually 12, but bakers are stupid.
Ross-On-Wye is named after the actor Ross Kemp.
Spray-on snow is made from ground up, unsold Sega Dreamcasts
Clare Balding can walk through walls if she has enough prozac.
New theories link UB40 with Jack the Ripper, largely due to the sheer number of 19th century prostitutes they murdered.
All maps are actual size, but come with magnifiers to make the world look bigger than it really is.
Musical Chairs was originally Musical Hairs, and the last player to become bald was the winner.
1 in 7 raspberries are radioactive during raspberry mating season.
Alan Sugar’s beard is made from cigarette ash.
Nuns are only allowed to drink Ribena.
Nicola Sturgeon has shoulders where her knees should be. She is currently on dialysis for this.
Argos pens are actually normal sized pens. However, Argos shoppers are predominantly giants.