I was bored so I improved a shark.

Allow me to demonstrate:

shark 2.0

Advertising: let’s face it, that space is wasted. I’ve gone for Netto, Vagisil and Scampi Fries.

Funny hat: a novelty shark hat on his fin will help him come across as friendly and not terrifying.

USB port: for plugging in MP3 players.

Cheese and pineapple on a stick: portable snack.

Darts: I like darts. If he was a darts player his nickname could be ‘The Shark’.

French For Dummies: sharks are notoriously bad at learning languages.

Lovely hat: a beret would also be nice.

Smile: a shark’s smile is less ‘Let’s watch Crossroads together’ and more ‘Sit there while I kill you’, so I’ve given him the smile of a lovely lady that’s laughing at that ‘gooseberry in a lift’ joke.

If you’re still reading this, well done.

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