Rainbow episode review: sticking the pole up

This is one of my favourite episodes, because it involves Bungle wearing clothes that are clearly not his. I don’t think Bungle owns any clothes, apart from that one t-shirt that says ‘Bungle’ on it. I think he stole these clothes from a charity bag.

Anyway, this episode is called ‘Camping’, and the plot is that the gang decide to live rough in the woods for a week. Geoffrey tries to pass this off as a holiday, but it is no such thing. Living in a bag and shitting in a hole is not a holiday, it is a training exercise. I don’t care if there are cows to look at.

The gang arrive at the campsite (the middle of nowhere, just off the A64) in the Rainbow minibus. I have no idea where they got the Rainbow minibus; it is never mentioned again.

1

And speaking of things that are never mentioned again – Zippy and George are now inexplicably wearing Boy Scouts uniforms. This is despite George being scared of everything, and still using a potty (I’ll get to that). And there’s no way Zippy would be a Boy Scout, he’s far too badass to do whatever it is they do. Selling biscuits or something.

I notice Bungle isn’t a Scout. They probably didn’t invite him, or he couldn’t join because they didn’t have a uniform big enough for a fully grown bear. This is why Bungle has to steal his clothes from charity bags. Most likely though, they didn’t invite him because he would just whinge and get things wrong. No, I’m not speaking from my two weeks’ experience with the Guides.

We’ve established that Bungle is not wearing a Scouts uniform. Let’s have a look at what Bungle is wearing:

2

Oh Bungle, I love you with your stolen clothes and your weird shoulder flap.

The gang starts getting unpacked. “Right, it’s time to unload the van!” says Geoffrey brightly, before letting Bungle anywhere near the fucking thing.

Bungle gets the suitcase out of the van.

Spoiler alert: Bungle cannot be trusted with a task.

3

The suitcase pops open, sending Jane’s bras flying all over the Sussex countryside. Bungle’s reaction is excellent. When Geoffrey groans “Oh Bungle!” Bungle replies “Yes Geoffrey?” like fucking nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I suppose using Bungle’s frame of reference it hasn’t.

Ok, I must defend Bungle here. When the others throw six kinds of shit at him for flinging everything out of the suitcase, Bungle responds with “Well I’m sorry but you couldn’t have closed it properly!” This is very true. It’s entirely Geoffrey’s fault. This doesn’t excuse Bungle from being an idiot though.

Right, let’s get the tent up shall we? But first we have to find a suitable spot. Rod finds a good place:

4

But of course, the others find fault with it. Bungle says that the ground is “a bit bumpy Rod”, and Freddy points out all the “nasty cow messes”.

Oh brilliant Rod, just put the tent down on all the shit. Why don’t you just marry Bungle, you’re such a pair of idiots.

They move the tent three miles away, but then they can’t find the groundsheet. Bungle kindly offers to get it out of the suitcase, and is met with cries of “Don’t fuck the entire fucking universe up this time, do you hear?”

Then this happens:

5

Out of nowhere, Bungle is instantly desperate for a piss. Even my bladder’s not that bad, and I once pissed in a car.

George offers Bungle his potty. I’m not sure why, since A) he doesn’t seem to need a poo, and B) his gigantic arse would swallow up the relatively miniscule potty. Bungle politely declines, and goes in the bushes, where he is terrorised by a frog.

6

Seriously Bungle, how is that hat staying on? Did they staple it your fucking head?

Geoffrey and Rod put the tent up. Geoffrey and Rod do not know how to insert shockcorded pole into apex B, or that the grommet should be on the corner stake-out web.

This is their tent after about an hour:

7c

A ha, Zippy and George are in the tent, which is why it is 20% erect. Seriously, why are they Scouts?

8

Geoffrey hits his finger with a hammer in a hilarious way, and then suddenly he’s an expert at tenting, and the tent goes up in five seconds. Look at his proud, manly stance:

9

Now they’re all settled, obviously the first thing they do is sing a song. About camping. I was going to get a shot of them all together, but I accidentally got this one instead, which I think is much more interesting.

10

Rod: “Bungle you fucking stink, what have you been doing?”

Bungle: “I merely pissed in this glass when that frog drove me out of the bushes. Would you like some?”

Rod: “Err get away from me you fucking weirdo.”

The gang sing a song about “When you go a-camping, what do you have to do?” And everyone comes up with tasks like “do some cooking”, “put the tent up”, “fetch the water”.

Here are my suggestions:

1. Forget the tin opener.
2.Get trench foot.
3. Go home.

Bungle looks like he’s off thinking about the likelihood of ethics in a solipsistic universe.

11

Then they all have “sausages” for tea. That’s it, just sausages. No bread, no nothing. The stupid vegans.

Then straight after tea it’s time for bed, because it’s getting on for 4 in the afternoon and they have a long day of fuck all tomorrow.

12

There’s no way that Rod, Jane and Freddy are sticking to those tents tonight.

Fin.

2 thoughts on “Rainbow episode review: sticking the pole up

  1. That is the shittest camp fire I’ve ever seen, where did they get those bricks from? And why have they lit it in broad daylight?

    By the way your last line about Rod Jane & Freddy really cracked me up.

    Like

Well?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s