Rainbow episode review: Girls on film

This episode is called ‘Smile Please’, and is all about posing for photos like a big attention whore.

Geoffrey is taking a photo of Bungle. Since Bungle is naked, we can assume this is for Readers’ Wives.

1

Bungle shits himself when the flash goes off. This prompts Geoffrey to explain that it was the camera flashing, and “no a nuclear bomb hasn’t just gone off Bungle, you idiot.” Having said that, the sky is now a very odd colour.

flash

Since the camera is a Polaroid, the photo is blank for a bit before it develops. Zippy posits the idea that Bungle’s face has broken the camera, to which Bungle replies “How about I break your face with my fist?”

Everyone reminisces about the time they went to a photo studio to have a family portrait taken.

annual

The photo was so good it ended up on a couple of cash-in annuals:

rainbow81

Anyway, Bungle’s photo is ready. I wish it weren’t, because it’s definitely haunted. I might write a creepypasta about it:

“Guys I tried to take a photo of my living room, and when I developed the photo this fucker was standing there with his soulless eyes. Then a file called ‘Bungle.exe’ appeared in my inbox, even though I don’t have a computer.”

haunted

“Not bad for a big hairy monster,” says Zippy.

“Well it’s better than a photo of your mum, who has a face like ten scrota,” replies Bungle. Ooh burn.

Bungle decides he wants to take a photo. Geoffrey hands over the camera with no reservations. This is surprising, considering he’s met Bungle.

Bungle immediately takes a picture of the floor by accident.

floor

I keep warning you Geoffrey, but you never listen.

Bungle gets his shit together and takes a photo of Geoffrey. I don’t see why – Geoffrey has only ever been a maximum of 2ft away from him his entire life. Maybe he needs a photo to remind him what Geoffrey looks like.

Bungle gets Geoffrey to keep stepping backwards, with hilarious consequences:

lolling

Either that, or he’s lolling about in a seductive manner for Readers’ Wives part 2.

Also, Bungle isn’t zipped up properly, and now I can’t unsee that.

To pass the 8 seconds while the picture develops, Geoffrey shows the others some photos of him from when he was a kid. Then Freddy comes in without knocking, and takes a photo of them all. This is because he just happened to be spending the day barging into people’s houses with his camera, and is in no way connected to the plot. He tried taking photos of Rod and Jane, but they got angry with him and asked him to get out of the bathroom.

 

freddy

“Rod and Jane are going to a fancy dress party, and I’m going to take lots of photos of them in their costumes!”

(“Not that I’ve told them this. Serves them right for not inviting me.”)

The gang all go outside and pose for photos. At least I think that’s what they’re doing – They all look a bit like they’re ready to defend themselves if Freddy turns. Rod hides behind Jane.

posing

To add insult to injury, Rod asks Freddy for a lift:

“I know I’m taking your girlfriend to a party without you and everything, but can you drive us there as well? I’m worried I’ll get arrested if I go on the bus in these tights.”

lift

Then that bit stops, and Geoffrey reads a story about an elephant taking a photo. That’s stupid, because elephants can just remember everything they’ve ever seen, and have no need for cameras.

“When I grow up, I’m going to be a photographer,” declares Bungle.

“What kind of photographer?” asks Geoffrey, implying he’s going to get a job at Razzle.

“And anyway, you might want to take moving pictures instead,” continues Geoffrey. “Look at this, it’s a video camera. You use it for camera-ing videos…”

Geoffrey explains to the others what video cameras are, despite the fact that they’ve had video cameras in their living room every day since 1972. Anyway, he looks enthusiastic to the point of being worrying:

enthusiastic

“Come on, do some shit for the camera! I’m going to send it to You’ve Been Framed, assuming that’s a thing yet, I’m not sure.”

film

The others all go mental: “Quick, put it on the TV! We can’t wait to see ourselves on TV!” I’m not sure, but I think they might have just broken the universe by saying that. You might want to check. At no point does Geoffrey inform them that they’ve been filmed non-stop for the last 20 years, even though they’re all abut 8. Shame on you Geoffrey.

Geoffrey further confuses matters by turning to the viewers and announcing that it’s time to go. What, do the others just think he’s talking to the wall?

On this bombshell, we leave the Rainbow gang for another day. I think the moral of today’s story is ‘what cameras are’. And that is a lesson humanity desperately needs to learn.

One thought on “Rainbow episode review: Girls on film

  1. “Guys I tried to take a photo of my living room, and when I developed the photo this fucker was standing there with his soulless eyes. Then a file called ‘Bungle.exe’ appeared in my inbox, even though I don’t have a computer.”

    I laughed so hard at this I think I gave myself a hernia.

    Liked by 1 person

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