Apologies for not doing many posts recently, I’ve been on some super fun new anxiety meds, one of the effects of which is “malaise”. Malaise, in this case, translates roughly as “lying on the settee watching loads of Jim Sterling on Youtube and being too tired to fart”. Anyway, here I am.
Today’s episode is called ‘Watch Out’, and it’s about watching out. Presumably, like ‘watch out for that falling piano’ and ‘watch out for that sex pest over there’.
Bungle is doing a painting. Unfortunately for Bungle, he’s forgotten to watch out, and now his afternoon is littered with life-threatening things. Can any eagle eyed readers spot the hazards?
Firstly, There is a pot of water just feet away from the edge of the table. If knocked over, this water will go on fire.
Secondly, There are some toy cars on the floor. You might not have spotted this one, because it wasn’t in the first screenshot. Oh well.
Lastly – and most importantly – Bungle’s painting is fucking rubbish. He should watch out for art critics, who might come along and tell him this.
Bungle decides to put his painting up on the wall, where everyone will be forced to enjoy it.
“What about here?” he asks Zippy.
“No, put it up higher,” says Zippy.
Any higher and the paining will be out of the fucking set and stuck to the boom mic.
Bungle decides this is a smashing idea. But OH MY GOD, he’ll have to stand on a chair to reach! I hope he doesn’t. What am I talking about? Of course I hope he does. And I hope he falls off. I hope he lands on the chair and the chair goes up his bum, and he has to go to ‘Rainbow Hospital’ to get it pulled out.
Geoffrey intervenes in the nick of time. Great job Geoffrey, I’m so glad you stopped Bungle getting bummed by a chair. I’m sure this post is going to be just as interesting without that development. Clap clap clap.
Guess what Alex said to me earlier? I smiled at him and he said “It’s confusing when you smile. Either you’ve just farted, or you’re planning something.” I don’t know what that says about me as a person.
“Where is George?” demands Geoffrey.
“He’s gone out,” says Zippy.
This sends Geoffrey into a fit of panic, because he’s forgotten to stop George escaping.
“WATCH OUT, GEORGE HAS ESCAPED!” he yells.
It’s ok, because George has only escaped into the garden.
“George, what’s all this about you going out?”
“Oh no Geoffrey, I would never go out on my own.”
“George, you’re a fucking liar. You are literally outside while I am talking to you.”
Once that’s all sorted out, the gang talk about what to do for the afternoon. Geoffrey suggests going to have a picnic in the park, while also watching out.
Zippy and Bungle are thrilled at the idea of watching out. I don’t know where George is and I don’t care. He’s probably made it to Doncaster by this point. That’s ok, he can watch out in Doncaster.
I sill don’t know what it is we’re supposed to be watching out for. Maybe today’s animation will provide us with a clue?
Right, so far we’ve got:
- watch out for getting bummed by chairs
- watch out for George escaping
- watch out for dirty old men in the park
The gang get their picnic food ready in the kitchen.
“How can we help, Geoffrey?”
“You can help by being in another room.”
Geoffrey relents, and lets Bungle loose with a butter knife.
“There, spread that butter. Imagine it’s Jane’s legs, like you always fucking do.”
Bungle spreads all of the butter onto one slice of bread.
The rest inexplicably goes on the floor.
“Don’t worry, I’ll use this mop to clean it up. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG.”
In a surprising turn of events, nothing does go wrong, apart from Bungle twats Zippy over the head with the mop, which I think he meant to do anyway. I was kind of hoping the mop would go on fire, and then I could point and laugh.
The food’s finally done and the gang are almost ready to go, but they’ve got a bit lax about watching out. Bungle walks very slowly into a cupboard door, and breaks his leg.
Then they all have a lovely discussion about sitting in their allotted child safety seats in the car. Even Bungle, who is bigger than the car. Bungle has a flashback of the last time Geoffrey tried to squeeze him into his seat. He’s wondering how they’re going to manage it this time, since they’re out of butter.
It turns out they’re fucking walking to the park anyway, so that entire car seat thing was pointless.
“Do you know your road safety drill?”
Is it ‘watch out’, by any chance?
“It’s very important to watch out when you’re crossing the road.”
I’m good at this. Do I get a sticker? I’m going to give myself a ‘well done’ sticker.
The gang all pack their armbands, so they won’t drown in the 1ft deep paddling pool at the park.
“I’d like to go in the big pool,” says Bungle.
“Ooh no Bungle,” says Geoffrey. “Not until you’re much older.”
“Geoffrey, I’m a 43 year old man in a bear suit, how much older do I have to fucking be?”
We finish the episode with a five minute protracted nag from Geoffrey. I think it’s about ‘Watch out, and don’t fall for pyramid schemes’. I’ve had enough of Geoffrey’s nagging, so I’m not going to listen to that bit.
And just to piss Geoffrey off, I’m not going to watch out at all tonight. In fact, I’ll probably do something deliberately dangerous, like reheating rice. That’ll show him.