This episode is all about why you shouldn’t let Bungle, Zippy and George on your property, because they’ll just leave shit all over it with hilarious consequences.
Bungle is filling up the paddling pool, despite the hose not actually pointing anywhere near the pool, but never mind:
I have several questions about this:
1: Bungle is bigger than the entire pool. If he attempts to get in the pool, it will immediately be swallowed up his arse crack.
That’s it really.
Let’s put that aside for now, because it’s not really the point of the episode. I wonder if they ever did an episode called ‘Don’t put things near Bungle because they’ll probably go up his bum’?
The point of the episode is that the garden is spectacularly messy. This is because everyone’s been leaving their various shit and bric a brac lying around, including a skateboard that says ‘dog’ for no real reason, a tricycle, some roller skates, and Bungle.
Geoffrey comes out and trips over some bowling pins and nearly dies. Zippy and George look on and laugh because what bantz.
I can’t adequately describe the next part, so I’ll just show you.
R.I.P. my sides.
The first time I watched this episode was after getting back from the pub one night. I laughed so loud my neighbour shouted at me. I would like to apologise to my neighbour, but also to point out that this was entirely the correct reaction to have.
Instead of getting out of the pool like a rational person, Geoffrey chooses to sit in the pool and complain about being sat in a pool.
Pop quiz time! When Geoffrey finally does figure out how to get out of the child’s paddling pool he’s trapped in, what will he do next?
a) Declare war on Japan
b) Phone his MP
c) Have another hilarious accident
I hope you answered C you idiots.
Geoffrey hilariously sits on some hilarious plant pots, and this is hilarious. By the look on Geoffrey’s face, it’s a bit sexy as well.
Oh my fucking god, we’ve gone too far lads…
He’s going to murder them isn’t he.
Geoffrey loses his shit and brings the wrath of God down upon the others, because the garden is like something out of Hoarders. This terrifying rant is only interrupted by Geoffrey slipping hilariously on the skateboard from earlier.
I must confess, I’m having trouble keeping my organs together at the moment.
“RIGHT THAT’S IT YOU’RE NOT HAVING A FUCKING GARDEN ANY MORE, I’M GOING TO BURN THE FUCKER!”
I think only Bungle was listening:
The gang realise they might have pushed Geoffrey too far, like the time they wouldn’t behave, so he went out and came back in as his own evil twin. They don’t want a repeat of that, so Operation Grovel is on.
“Look Geoff, we’re all prostate before you. Please don’t kill us and then use our corpses to fertilize the garden you’re apparently going to burn down anyway.”
Geoffrey sips his tea and thinks about it.
“Fine I won’t do that. But only because I’m tired. Instead, we’ll divide the garden up. You’re still a dickhead Bungle.”
In hindsight, I think the writers made the right choice not having Geoffrey just murder the others.
The gang get busy deciding what do do with their bit of the garden.
“I’m going to grow food!” says Zippy.
“I’m going to grow some flowers!” says George.
“What about the children?” says Bungle. “We must have something for them!”
Wait, what? What children? Is Bungle trying to attract children like you attract bees? Whatever, I’m sure he knows what he’s talking about. I just want Geoffrey to have another hilarious accident.
You can see Geoffrey silently berating himself for not taking the opportunity to murder Bungle.
Bungle decides that animals will attract children. I think he thinks that if he leaves some animals out at night, then wild children will come along and eat them. Bungle, that didn’t work with Jane and it’s not going to work with some random kids. I don’t care how lonely you are.
They carefully measure and map out the garden. Turns out there’s only one square foot that will grow anything other than nuclear waste. But it’s ok, because Zippy has drawn up some plans.
“Zippy you fucking cretin,” says Geoffrey. “If you want anything doing properly, you have to do it yourself!” In their defence Geoffrey, they are supposed to be about 3.
Anyway, I’ve come up with a much better plan of the garden:
Auntie pops in for a visit. “Look at this Auntie,” says Geoffrey. “Look what your stupid relatives have done.”
Auntie reads the others a story while Geoffrey goes… somewhere, I don’t know.
Cut to later, and the garden has been successfully divided up. Geoffrey’s revised plan appears to be ‘trap Zippy and George behind a fence, have the rest of the garden for myself, and hope Bungle dies. Also buy some hay’.
GEOFFREY HAS ALLOWED BUNGLE TO BUY A DONKEY.
I give up. Geoffrey’s as bad as the rest of them.
The donkey eats some of George’s flowers, and nobody minds because George.
That is somehow the end of the episode. Nothing is resolved. They just now own a donkey.
Incidentally, I was in my late twenties before I realised that the ‘outside’ bits on Rainbow weren’t really outside. Just in case you needed to feel better about yourselves today.
Anyway, I think the moral of today’s episode can be summed up perfectly by the following YouTube comment:
Monkey happy crying indeed.