Booze! Hostess trolleys! Fuck knows! Here’s a selection of the very best Central TV has to offer its winning plebs on Bullseye…
Are you fat? We don’t want that! You massive twat. It’s this exercise thing.
HOT PEAS! It’s this hostess trolley.
We’re not sure if you win the coat, the plant, or the thing on the wall, but it’s one of them!
Take ’em back to the shop, or you’re for the chop – it’s some empty booze bottles!
Help, get it away from me – it’s a remote control lifeless staring animal.
Keep the spirit of your dead relatives alive with this haunted chair!
Do you want these? We don’t. It’s some videos we got.
Boom! Shake shake shake the room! Seriously – Central Television is not responsible for explosions or deaths. It’s this quite dangerous set of chemicals!
What time is it? Quarter to 5! With this clock.
TONIGHT. With this phallic decanter.
Ever wished your furniture would enslave us all? Well now it can, with this Welsh dresser overlord!
See your kids’ faces light up with this Game Gear, then see them fall again as they see the selection of games!
Hole in one! Hole in the laws of physics that is, with this floating set of golf clubs!
Say ‘Bully’ three times and he’ll appear and steal your stuff! That’s right, it’s this evil mirror!
“Bossa Nova!” “Please stop playing that Nigel, I’ll leave you.” It’s this keyboard!
Had your licence revoked for drink driving? Now you can still get to work on this child’s bike!
Its… whatever this is!
‘My pets are all dead!’ You’ll never have to say that again with these invisible fish!
“Hello, who’s that?” “It’s golf.” “What?” “It’s golf.” “What?” “I don’t know. Hello.” Have golf phone you with this golf phone thing!
And Bully’s Special Prize:
Some plates. I hope they lost on purpose that week.