All my cups are fucking boring. Most are beige, and they have “tea” or some other nonsense written on them.

Since I’m too lazy to go out and buy some more interesting cups, I figured I’d ask you guys if you had any wonderful objets d’art lying around. You did. My complete fucking surprise.

You guys have so many beautiful cups, in fact, that I’m going to have to split this post up (so if your cup isn’t here, it will be).

So, do you want to spend your Friday night looking at shit novelty cups? Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.

1. Terry Wogan is your friend (from Catt Weazle)

daily mail catt weazle

2. “Just look at its face” (from Hampton)


3. Flatteringly referred to as a “vintage teacup” (from Ian Pope)

Ian Pope

4. My sister, being too cheap to get a mug with her name on it. Or to share her mug.

sam's cup

5. Maria Bryan likes horses.

I like horses maria bryan

6. She also likes dogs.

dogs collection maria bryan

7. She fucking loves golf.

I love golf maria bryan

8. “It’s ugly and I don’t speak German.” (from Astrid Newby)

I don't speak german astrid newby

9. “We don’t have a Wren kitchen.” (from Fiona Meatloaf)

fiona meatloaf we dont have a wren kitchen

10. “William and Kate’s wedding as guinea pigs.” (from Karon Phoenix-Hollis)

Karon phoenix hollis

11. “Nice front bumper” (from Rob Barnett)

rob barnett

12. “Funky Pigeon sent the wrong one. Don’t even know who these people are, but too tight to throw it away.” (from Wendy Trotman)

No 1 boyfriend wendy trotman

If you have a crap cup, why not share it with the world? Hit me up on Facebook or Twatter, and I will steal your photo for personal gain. Mostly I’m just jealous if I’m being honest. In the meantime, look out for part 2 of Crap Cups, featuring special brew, Dirty Harry, and some footballer who I don’t know who he is.

Would you like to read my novel? It’s very sweary. Click if you like rude swears!


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