I found this in the 1973 Playhour annual, which I own because I am cool and hard. I wanted to share it with you guys because it makes, at best, 4% sense.
It is a double page art entitled NUM-NUM AND THE PUSS-CATS VISIT A PET SHOP.
Click the picture for a larger version. Have holy water ready.
I have all sorts of conflicting feelings about this fresco, which I will share with you in this academic essay.
1. Let’s address the elephant in the room first – why are these cats people, and who made them supreme overlords of the world? This is confusing on so many levels. I’m fine with a story about going to a pet shop, and I’m fine with a story about anthropomorphic cats, but combining the two creates a terrifying parallel universe that I don’t like.
Consider the following: these cats are going to a shop where animals of similar and in some cases higher intelligence than cats are kept in cages and sold as pets. There are at least two dogs, and a couple of monkeys. Balls to you if you think cats are more intelligent than dogs and monkeys. If this were real life, the minute the cats attempted this shit, the dogs would eat them and the monkeys would throw shit at them. And since when does a cat get a trading licence? Are there cats on the council now? I’m so confused.
This guy gets it:
2. This is not just a pet shop for the cats, this is also a restaurant. There are birds, fish and mice for sale in this shop. This is the cat version of having a plate of chips as a pet. Mark my words, they are browsing for food.
Just look at this fucker:
Fattening them up is what he’s doing. WHY DOES HE HAVE A TIE ON.
And this mad old bitch has the equivalent of a pork chop on her hat:
3. Why is that man delivering all that milk? Only the cats will be interested in that milk, and it’s not like all the customers are just going to get milk delivered there. That leaves that one woman, who I assume is the shopkeeper. Granted, she might live on milk and nothing else, but she’s more likely to be using it in some sort of ritual. This part of my thesis might need further research.
4. “Never-Shut-The-Door has left a cage door open, and she’s spilling bran.”
No she isn’t, she’s being a little shit and pouring it all over the floor. Furthermore, that does not explain the amount of animals now running round pissing and shitting all over the shop. This is not the result of one cage door being left open. If it is, that means the evil shopkeeper has kept about a dozen animals in that one cage, including fucking monkeys. Also, why do none of these cats have normal names like Brian?
5. Why has that old man just come in and gone to sleep behind the counter in a pet shop? Who does that? Why hasn’t he been kicked out? It’s not a library. Not that people are really supposed to sleep in libraries either.
6. That’s a goddamn obese parrot:
7. THIS LITTLE BASTARD:
He’s dragging those two bush babies around on that chair, while they cling on for dear life. Why is he being allowed to do this? And why is there even a miniature chair in the shop? They’d be better off back in the cage with the dogs and the monkeys.
It’s his mother’s fault for calling him Callum.
8. “Aren’t the funny puss-cats having fun?”
They might be, but I’m having the opposite of fun here.
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