Hello, today we’re making this fucking pile of insanity:


It is called ‘Bungle’s new face’, because the writers wanted it to be as horrifying as possible.

“Bungle was trying to draw a picture of himself, but he just couldn’t get it right.” This is because Bungle is slow. If he wanted to draw himself, why not just use a copy of Rainbow Comic as a reference? I know for a fact they read it, I’ve seen them. Instead, he decides the correct course of action is to TRACE HIS OWN FACE WITH A FELT TIP. This can only end well.

You will need:

– a face
– a felt tip pen
– some paper



“Just do the same as Bungle” is always a terrible idea.

let’s face it, there is no method here. You just hold the paper over your face, and draw a version of yourself from the 7th dimension.

I used a blue pen, because I couldn’t be arsed to go find another colour.

Aren’t I beautiful.

my portrait

Believe it or not, I was actually smiling as well.

It’s possible that Bungle has done a better job than I have. I’m now at the stage where Bungle has been more successful than me at something. I need to re-evaluate my life choices.

It doesn’t matter, because I have an ace up my sleeve. No matter how good Bungle’s self portrait was, he never thought to put his face on the body of Jet from Gladiators. look at this, it’s like we’re twins.

me as jet

Therefore, I win. Screw you Bungle.

Right, I’m going to the pub. Buy my book pls.

8 thoughts on “Let’s make a terrifying self portrait

      1. I think you are a proper writer…I read everything you write – even your (terrific) book – it may be tho’ that I am not a proper reader…


  1. I’m SO taking some sheets of paper and a Sharpie to the post work pub meetup tomorrow. This is comedy gold, guaranteed.



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