I bought this, which is definitely not trying to be a Transformer:


It’s not a Transformer, it is a SUPER ROBOT, can’t you read? It is a Dirt Boss (or an Oirt Boss, hard to tell) from the Change Series, and it is 5 powerful.


I’m excited already.

Since this dude transforms into a forklift truck, presumably with hi-vis vest and risk assessment, I can only assume his name is Alan. Alan the Super Robot. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to own something called Alan the Super Robot.

Look at him, he’s beautiful.


Right, let’s have a crack at this. It can’t be that hard, it’s for kids.


Jesus fucking Christ it’s The Krypton Factor.

No, I’ll wing it. It’ll be fine.


I don’t think his leg is supposed to go like that. Or his arm. Or his head.


This is hard.

Well look, imagine this but as a forklift truck, and that is Alan the Super Robot’s final form.


Anyway, I’ve had such a good time playing with Alan that I’m going to collect all his friends too. Let’s see –


I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think they may have stolen the name ‘Rollbar’.


My novel is on Amazon if you’d like to take a peek. I’m currently attempting to shit out a sequel.

One thought on “Corner Shop Crap: Roberts in disguise


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