Here are three stupid things I’ve done:
1. The other day I spent ten minutes looking for something that was in my hand.
2. I was in my 30s before I realised the outdoor bits on Rainbow were filmed indoors.
3. I once needed help opening a bin because I thought it was robotic. It wasn’t.
Given this, it warms my heart to know that there are other idiots in the world. Back in the day I used to collect mental questions people had asked on Yahoo answers. If you’re unfamiliar with it, Yahoo Answers is like Quora, but for people with steam coming out of their vaginas (I’ll get to that).
I stumbled across my collection the other day, so I’d like to share some of my best findings with you. I might attempt to answer them, I might not. Depends how much wine I drink.
Answer: Do what I do – own one bra, never take it off. Occasionally find Hula Hoops in there.
Answer: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THIS AS WELL PLEASE.
Answer: HELP I’VE STILL GOT CAPS LOCK ON.
Answer: He is gay.
Answer: Because it’s foreign.
Answer: You’ve answered your own question there buddy. They’re scared of wae.
Answer: What am I, the fish police? Anyway, my sister has two fish, so no.
Answer: You were the only one going to St Ives.
Answer: You have confused your arms with your sleeves.
Answer: No, because why would you admit to still using Facebook.
It’s nature’s way of keeping you warm, and also cooking asparagus.
Answer: I would answer this but I don’t want to meddle in your affairs.
Answer: Go ask Todd. Get back to me.
Answer: Drink more wine.