This episode is about touching things, feeling things up, and generally molesting things. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s probably not called ‘Molesting Things’.

The gang have a cat. This is never explained, and is never mentioned again. This happens sometimes, like when Geoffrey married Bungle and they had a baby.

Geoffrey looks happy to have a cat. Bungle is wondering how he can eat the cat without Geoffrey noticing.


The cat’s like “I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a man in a bear suit over there, and this is not standard. Call the police, I’ll try to act natural.”


Geoffrey is teaching us how to stroke a cat, as if the viewers were thinking of stroking their cat with a hammer. I can see the merit in teaching kids this, but the effort is undermined by Bungle’s presumed plan to then eat the cat.

“Right, let’s look at some children stroking some animals!”

If you say so Geoffrey.

This goat is clearly saying “Fuck you and everything you stand for.”


After the children have finished bumbling round and accidentally molesting farm animals, we discover the gang have finally had enough of Bungle’s shit, and he’s going to get the firing squad.



Pop quiz: Why do you think Bungle finally got sentenced to death by firing squad?

A) Leaving pubes all over everything

B) Eating the cat

C) Bungling

Answer will be revealed at some point. Probably never since that’s not really what’s happening.

What’s actually happening is that Geoffrey is going to give Bungle a random item, and Bungle has to guess what it is by feeling it.

Presented without comment:

Bungle correctly guesses his item (one of Geoffrey’s old bras or something), then it’s George’s turn. He’s given a piece of ice. Where they were keeping this ice is never explained.

Bungle decides to help by yelling “IT’S A PIECE OF ICE!”

Amazingly, George still struggles to guess. This is even stupider when you realise his eyes are poking out of his blindfold.


If George had an IQ he’d be dangerous.

(3 hours later…)

“I think it’s a piece of ice!”

“Yeah, well done George!”


It’s their fault for encouraging him instead of having him arrested.

Anyway, after an animation of David Tennant having a shave:


Rod, Jane and Roger (Roger!) are singing a song about stroking a dog. Once again Rod manages to be the absolute alpha male of the group. I’m not going to comment on the way he’s looking at Jane, but given the theme of the episode it’s not hard to join the dots.


God damn it Rod, you look like a smutty wizard.

Back to the plot. The gang are still sitting there doing fuck all. And I’ve just noticed something: where the hell are they supposed to be? That isn’t their garden.


“Bungle,” says Geoffrey. “Do you think you three could find your way home from wherever this is?”

“No, definitely not,” says Bungle.

“Good, that’s what I thought,” says Geoffrey.

And that’s… kind of… the end of the episode. Nothing is explained. The cat will no doubt be fed to Bungle and will never be mentioned again, like that guinea pig they had for one episode, which Bungle also ate.

Speaking of Bungle, there’s just time for his once-an-episode “Oh Christ I’m Bungle for a living” face:


And that’s that. I think the moral of today’s episode is ‘Go round stroking everything like a big weirdo. And if that doesn’t work, sentence Bungle to the firing squad.’


There’s lots of extra stuff on my Patreon, link’s here if you’re interested.

2 thoughts on “Rainbow episode review: Keep your hands to yourself


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