Right, I don’t know much about V, I’ve never watched it, but I do know it’s a show about evil mind-altering aliens that take over the world, and was written as an allegory of Nazi Germany. Given this, it seems like an odd choice to release a tie-in annual filled with comics, jokes and wordsearches. Yet here we are.

1

This was sent to me by one of my more awesome readers, Fox (@Flamekebab), under the assumption that I would somehow write something intelligent about it. I did no such thing. Instead, I knobbed around laughing at the illustrations, having a crack at the board game (because of course there’s a board game in there), and then I ate a whole tub of ice cream.

So, since you’ve got nothing better to do today (and let’s face it, you haven’t), let’s have a look at the highlights of the 1986 V annual.

These guys

happy

These two dudes are Al and Willie. I assume they’re the good guys, because someone calls them “Earth scum”. Anyway, Al is shooting the naughty aliens while Willie looks on… happily? Disapprovingly? Drunkenly?

willie

Actually scrap that. That’s the face of someone trying to remember the second verse of ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’.

Wordsearch

wordsearch

Nothing says ‘terrifying dystopia’ like a wordsearch. The previous owner has done the wordsearch, but they’ve done it like a weirdo and a serial killer. And if you’re responsible for this, Fox, you are a weirdo and a serial killer. Learn to scribble words out in biro until you can’t read it so you give up, like everyone else.

Boxing

fence box

Get it? Because he’s twatting him in the face with a box.

I can’t stop staring at this picture. How did the box guy get in that position? Is he flying? He might be able to fly for all I know about this show. It’s more likely that he was trying to climb over the fence with the box, tripped, and accidentally hit the bad guy in the face with a box of tax returns. Then some trombone music plays.

Meanwhile, the other guy is giving directions to the M62.

What the fuck is going on in this picture

this fucking picture

Shit jokes

shit jokes

Another staple of tie-in annuals, that somehow manages to be more inappropriate than the wordsearch. Also, the jokes make no fucking sense. maybe they do if you’re a big fan of the show, but I suspect not. Also, this joke page loses points for not having the obligatory ‘Aston Villa/Aston Vanilla’ joke.

This guy

This guy

Poor guy. I assume, he might be having a really good time. I don’t know, I didn’t bother reading the story. I probably should have done.

His friend doesn’t seem overly bothered anyway.

Sound effects

All the classic hits on one double album, including:

– Zzzzzzip
– Slammmmmm
– Vooooomsh

Available from all good stockists now.

Board game

board game

Because of course. Of fucking course.

Anyway, this game is called ‘Breaking The Mothership Connection’, which isn’t as catchy as Ghost Castle. Me and Alex played it.

Well, when I say we played it, I mean we were going to play it, and then we had a read of the instructions:

board game instructions

After reading the instructions, we suddenly remembered we had urgent stuff to do instead, so we didn’t bother. It definitely wasn’t because we didn’t understand how to play.

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3 thoughts on “A look through the 1986 V annual

  1. Wow!… ‘V’ I remember it pretty well. I think it used to be on ITV after News At Ten?…but I could be wrong?
    I was only a kid at the time, but I remember that it was so different from the normal garbage TV shows. But yes it was actually a good TV show and had quite a lot of fans.
    I think the Rabbit picture might have something to do with the Alien geezers eating whole Rats or Mice? They just opened up all casual like and “poof!” poor little Roland was instant dinner for them.
    Yes it was all a bit weird, but for a kid in the 80’s ‘V’ was pure gold! Lol.
    There was a remake done recently, with what’s her face from Deadpool in it. The bint who played Deadpools Girlfriend is one of the main characters I think? But of course she is… she’s done sweet FA since Deadpool, and she wasn’t right good in that! Good for eye candy but she’s certainly no Helen fucking Mirren! Lol
    And back then they had Annuals for all sorts of TV show, so it’s no surprise that this was done too.
    Thanks, but keep away from the Rats lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. V was supposed to be absolutely terrifying when I was little (still remember the guy smashing his frozen arm off). But if you want real crap, try the ZX Spectrum game, which consisted of running back and forth and going in lifts. There was probably more to it, but I never got anywhere with it.

    Fun fact: Willie was the token nice alien who never took his face off, ironically played by Robert “Freddy Krueger” Englund.

    Was the board game designer a big Parliament Funkadelic fan?

    Like

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