It occurred to me that I’ve never reviewed this episode, despite it being one of my favourites. This is because I am a div.
The episode is called ‘Bungle’s High And Mighty Day’, and the plot is as follows: Bungle is a twat for the entire day. Even more of a twat than usual. With that backstory established, let’s begin.
“HELLO GET UP” booms Geoffrey.
Not sure what Bungle’s doing at this point.
Geoffrey stands there like a psychotic statue for ten minutes, while the others wake up.
“BUNGLE WAKE UP I’VE GOT A LETTER FOR YOU”
“For me?” gasps Bungle.
“No, I just made that up so I could come in and look at you sleeping,” replies Geoffrey. “Yes of bastard course for you. I would not come in this room if I didn’t have to.”
“Is there a letter for me?” asks Zippy?
“What about me?” asks George.
“One at a time lads,” says Geoffrey. One: Sorry Zippy, no letter for you. Two: Don’t be stupid George, no one likes you.”
This is despite the fact that no one likes Bungle, but Geoffrey is willing to let that slide for the sake of the plot.
Instead of a letter from ‘Dave The Nipples’ threatening to kneecap Bungle if he doesn’t pay up, as I’d hoped, the letter is an invitation to Sooty’s party, and it’s only for Bungle.
The first time I watched this episode, I just assumed it was a ‘bears only’ party, and didn’t think twice about it. I don’t know what you do at a ‘bears only’ party. Maybe there’s a stripper, and then you eat the stripper because you’re bears.
Apparently that’s not the case. Zippy and George are livid. George nearly tuts.
“Guess what?” Bungle says to the others. “I’ve been invited to this party and you haven’t! That means everyone but me is shit!”
I’m only slightly paraphrasing.
At this point, Bungle decides it’s appropriate to put on a posh accent and spend the day lording it over the others. It never occurs to him to get dressed.
First on the agenda is getting up in Geoffrey’s face and demanding to have his bedroom.
Seriously Bungle, try doing that in Doncaster and see how far you get.
“I demand to have some booze! I mean a room of my own.”
“Why the fuck should you have your own bedroom? And if you say you need more room for your Jane shrine, I will kill you.”
“I just should. It’s very grown up.”
Bungle, you are now demanding to squat in the bedroom of a man in his 30s.
Geoffrey considers all the other possible ways his life could have panned out.
“I knew I should have joined that nunnery when I had the chance.”
Geoffrey caves in, and Bungle is so pleased he displays the human mouth he keeps hidden inside his own mouth.
I hope you started drinking before looking at that picture.
And anyway, I don’t see why Bungle needs to have Geoffrey’s bedroom, considering there’s already an infinite number of rooms in the Rainbow house, as explained in this post.
“Bungle’s taking a long time this morning, I wonder what he’s doing?”
I know what he’s not doing, and that’s getting dressed.
Geoffrey, George and Zippy have a good time slagging Bungle off, before Bungle comes in and catches them, and calls them ‘silly’.
If you’re not aware, calling someone ‘silly’ in the Rainbow universe is the equivalent of calling them a cunt.
As if Bungle isn’t enough of an arsehole, he refuses boiled eggs and soldiers, on account of it’s “babyish”.
“I’m surprised at you Geoffrey, eating boiled eggs and… ha ha ha ha… soldiers!”
At this point we will have a brief intermission for a public service announcement:
Bungle decides the really grown up thing to do is to just not eat anything at all.
Not sure what emotion Geoffrey is attempting to convey here:
Bungle then goes back upstairs, “to think about what I’m going to wear to Sooty’s party”.
I already know what you’re going to wear Bungle, would you like me to tell you? How do I know? No idea, I must be fucking psychic.
Next up we have a song from Rod, Jane and Freddy, about Rod being the best one, which anyone could have told you anyway. Interestingly, as Alex pointed out, they do seem to live in an enclosure made entirely of doors:
Back to Bungle acting like a Twat Bollock from Hell. To be fair to Bungle here, George is struggling to do what looks like a two piece jigsaw.
“Oh here, I’ll do it for you!” Imagine getting outwitted by Bungle.
Look at him, trying to get the attention of someone who gives a fuck.
Wanting to earn more knobhead XP, Bungle then ruins a highly competitive game of Snap between Geoffrey and Zippy.
“Oh Geoffrey, fancy you playing Snap! How babyish!”
It hasn’t occurred to Bungle that maybe Geoffrey is playing Snap for Zippy’s benefit.
Geoffrey once again regrets not becoming a nun when he had the chance.
We manage to make it to the evening without further incident. At bathtime, Bungle stands proud and majestic, refusing to take his towel off.
Not sure what Zippy’s looking at.
When Geoffrey tries to get Bungle into the bath, Bungle loses his shit:
“PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY TOWEL GEOFFREY!”
On one hand, I can see why he doesn’t want to share a bath with Zippy and George, because where the fuck is he supposed to sit? On the other hand, don’t tell me that Bungle has suddenly decided to be shy about people seeing his willy.
“Fine, sleep in your own piss and shit, see if I care” says Geoffrey.
Look how happy everyone is now Bungle’s fucked off:
Zippy is particularly happy now that he isn’t going to wake up with Bungle’s arse hair stuck to him.
“You don’t take up as much room as Bungle” says George.
“And you don’t wake us up in the middle of the night demanding to know why feet aren’t called leg-hands” says Zippy.
“You’re right lads, this is lovely,” says Geoffrey. “I should just evict Bungle.”
Everyone is happy. But as we know, happiness is fleeting in the Rainbow Cinematic Universe:
“Hello,” says Bungle. “I was trying to put my pyjamas on when I accidentally set the living room on fire.”
Not really. Bungle just wants to listen to the story, even though it’s well beneath his intellectual sensibilities. Even I skipped it.
After the story, Bungle refuses to leave.
“What’s your problem now Bungle?” they ask.
“I was just wondering why feet aren’t called leg-hands” says Bungle. “Also, I’m scared to sleep in your bedroom on my own in case there’s a burglar in there.”
“Bungle, if you do not fuck off right now, I will lock you in the room with seventeen burglars,” warns Geoffrey.
But wait, what’s this? Geoffrey has the ‘I have a joke up my sleeve’ look:
As regular readers know, one of Geoffrey’s favourite hobbies is getting one over on his stupid, three year old wards.
Are you ready for the ultimate plot twist? Turns out Geoffrey, Zippy and George received their party invitations in the afternoon post! They just thought it would be great fun and japes to let Bungle act like a twat all afternoon. Which, to be fair, he would have done anyway.
The main take away from this bit is that they took the invitations to bed with them, on the off chance Bungle would come in. Who does that.
Anyway, now they’re all invited to the party, Bungle agrees to stop being a twat, and Geoffrey goes back to his own bedroom. I suspect he’s not going to evict Bungle now.
And here we leave the Rainbow gang for another day. The moral of this episode is that Bungle is already a twat, so don’t give him any more reasons to be a twat, because then he’ll be a gigatwat. Also, I can’t stop thinking about Bungle on an episode of ‘The Sheriffs Are Coming’ after Geoffrey evicts him. I think that’s just me though.