In this episode, Bungle finally has his long overdue mental breakdown. Forced to confront the reality that the others really don’t fucking like him and wish he’d sod off, Bungle snaps and invents his own friend, with blackjack and hookers.
Let’s begin. The gang are all having what fun and japes as usual.
Nobody comes right out and says “Bungle we hate you and you smell”, but there’s an atmosphere. Maybe Bungle stuck his dick in the jam, I don’t know.
He certainly looks like he’s thinking about doing that.
Luckily, Bungle’s insanity kicks in before we have to watch him put a blonde wig on the jam jar and try to fuck it.
“Hey there was a knock at the front door!”
“No there wasn’t, you must have imagined it.”
“I’ll go and see who it is. It might be Horace!”
And off Bungle goes, TOWARDS THE KITCHEN.
This is one of the many problems with Bungle. He can’t even come up with a plausible sounding imaginary friend, like Dave or Chesney. ‘Horace’ sounds like a guy who made friends with Bungle by offering him sweets in a public toilet one day.
“Who the fuck is Horace?” they all wonder. Geoffrey appears remarkably unconcerned that his 3 year old ward has started knocking about with some man.
“He must be a new friend,” says George. “I wish I had a friend.”
“I wish I had a shotgun,” thinks Geoffrey.
Ladies and gentlemen – Horace:
To give Bungle the benefit of the doubt for now, Horace might not be imaginary, he might be far away and lying dead on the floor.
Also, once again I’m struck by the fact that I was in my 30s before I realised the outside bits of Rainbow were filmed indoors. This is why I’m regarded as one of the intellectual heavy-hitters of my generation.
After much dithering, and Bungle claiming that Horace is shy, he finally drags him out of the kitchen by way of an elaborate mime. Then the penny drops that Horace isn’t real, and order is restored to the universe, i.e. there is still no one who would voluntarily hang out with Bungle.
Geoffrey realises that Bungle’s gone insane and tries to back the fuck away.
“Geoffrey, give Horace a sandwich” demands Bungle.
“I’ve got a better idea,” says Geoffrey. “Why don’t you take Horace to meet Rod, Jane and Freddy?”
Then we can change the locks while you’re out.
Once the coast is clear, George reveals his idiot level:
“Geoffrey, Horace isn’t real is he?”
“About as real as that leprosy I pretended to have that time” says Geoffrey.
Meanwhile, Rod Jane and Freddy are doing art. We know they’re doing art because they are wearing berets.
Bungle arrives with his own unique style of performance art.
Even those three, dressed like that, look at Bungle like he’s a twat and an idiot.
Of course, Rod Jane and Freddy’s method of diffusing potentially dangerous situations is to start singing at the suspected terrorist. At least they did in that Rainbow/Under Siege crossover I just imagined.
While they’re singing, they paint Horace, with varying results:
Clearly Horace 3 is the best, with the thousand yard stare and the explosion in the background.
Later on, we see Bungle having an argument WITH HIS OWN IMAGINARY FRIEND:
Even Bungle’s imagination hates him.
The row is over Horace’s refusal to pass Geoffrey the story book, on account of how he doesn’t exist. This excuse is not good enough for Bungle, who was somehow expecting the book to float over to Geoffrey.
At this point I fully expect Horace to get his own back by making Bungle sink a houseboat and cut half his hair off.
I was so eager to skip the story that I ended up skipping a bit too far ahead. As such, I stopped on Bungle doing this, with no explanation:
Unfortunately, Bungle isn’t in the final stages of his mental breakdown as I’d hoped. He’s just trying to get comfy on some floor cushions so Horace can have the bed. Some might argue that’s worse, but here we are.
He actually did it as well, the madman. He spent the whole night on the floor, and now I think he’s done his back in.
Geoffrey has got the breakfast ready. Eagle eyed viewers will spot that’s he’s put an extra egg out this morning.
Is Bungle grateful for this? Is he fuck.
“Geoffrey who’s that egg for?”
“It’s for Horace.”
“Don’t be silly Geoffrey, Horace went home ages ago!”
I’m going to leave you with a montage of Geoffrey reacting to this news.