I don’t want to alarm you, but this episode is all about the time Bungle escaped. Don’t worry though, they do eventually round him up with the help of tranquilizer darts and/or Rod.

We begin with Bungle giving us the finger.

1

“I’m running away,” he declares. “I’ve got 20p and a hairy arse, I’m all set.”

Not really, although it would be hilarious to watch Bungle take his chances on the mean streets of wherever the fuck it is they live. In reality, he’s just going to the shop for some sweets. However, he has made the dangerous and fatal decision to GO ON HIS OWN.

Pop quiz. Is Bungle:

A) a small child

B) a 6ft naked bear

If you answered B, congratulations. Given this knowledge, I think we can all agree that Bungle will probably be OK to nip to Uppal’s News & Booze on his own.

Bungle fucks off. The room’s next occupant is George, who has his headphones on. I don’t know what song he’s listening to, but the lyrics seems to be comprised entirely of “yeah baby”.

Geoffrey comes in. “GEORGE HAVE YOU SEEN BUNGLE.”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU GEOFFREY I’VE GOT MY HEADPHONES ON.”

“WELL IN THAT CASE – I SHAT IN YOUR TEA THIS MORNING GEORGE, TROLOLOL.”

2

After about 6 years, it occurs to George to take his headphones off. They manage to figure out between them that Bungle is not currently in the same room as them.

Then this happens:

My fucking sides.

Anyway, the plot so far is as follows – Bungle is missing. Geoffrey cares about this, despite having met Bungle.

We catch up with Bungle outside the shop as he bumps into Rod. He remains unmolested. That is, Bungle remains unmolested, I can’t speak for Rod.

3

“Jesus fucking Christ Bungle, you’ve escaped again! Did you tell Geoffrey you were going out?”

“No, because fuck Geoffrey.”

“Look Bungle, while I agree with you on the basic principle of ‘fuck Geoffrey’, you still shouldn’t have gone out.”

“Why not?”

“Because the patrons of Uppal’s News & Booze do not want to see your exposed pubic area when they’ve just nipped out for some milk.”

Rod walks Bungle home, therefore giving up the chance to go in the shop and laugh at the rude magazines on the top shelf.

Meanwhile, Geoffrey is still looking for Bungle.

4

“Have you found him Geoffrey?”

“No. He’s not in the bedroom, so I’m bang out of ideas. I guess he must be dead. Oh well.”

“Wait, why don’t you look in the bedroom again? He might have lost loads of weight suddenly, and he might have fallen down a crack.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing that’s happened George.”

Crisis averted – Rod inserts Bungle back into the house.

5

“And where the fuck have you been?”

“I went to the shop for some sweets.”

“Bungle you could have been raped!”

Even Geoffrey realises that was a ridiculous thing to say.

6

We cut to a film of a small child losing her mum in the supermarket.

7b

I have several questions about this:

1. Why did girls always have to have that shit hair in the 80s? I include myself in that.
2. How is this small girl getting lost comparable to a giant naked bear going to the shop?
3. How much bastard Lucozade does that supermarket sell?

Next up, we have a song from Rod Jane and Freddy, all about what to do if you live in a giant blue void. I’ll be honest, this video is more of an art piece.

Highlights:

Back at the Rainbow house, Bungle has had the fear of god put into him by Geoffrey, and now he’s determined never to do anything dangerous ever again.

There’s a knock at the door. “Come in!” Bungle yells, casual as you like.

9

Bungle, that could be seven serial killers at the door! When will you learn.

OK, it’s not seven serial killers at the door, but it is a strange woman.

10

Careful Bungle, this could still turn into a dangerous situation. For example, she might try to sell you a time share.

Bungle runs away to get Geoffrey. This is because Bungle is scared of ladies.

Once we’ve all established that Geoffrey’s friend Sue is not a serial killer, she gets acquainted with Bungle George and Zippy, while Geoffrey remembers the time he convinced Bungle everyone but him could hear colours.

11

The story is about a worm that wishes he could turn into an unholy cursed abomination.

12

Not exactly sure what this has to do with ‘don’t let Bungle go to the shop on his own’.

And then the episode stops. It just ends. They do that sometimes.

I guess we should try to take away some sort of lesson from today’s episode. Let’s see. OK, don’t go to the shop on your own if you’re naked, don’t open the door to seven serial killers, and definitely don’t eat that old Rolo you found under the settee.

Fin.

New book out soon lads. Click here to have a look at my first one.

3 thoughts on “Rainbow episode review: Where in the world is Bungle Bear?

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