It might surprise you to know that I wasn’t a rad kid. I am, however, a rad adult. A radult, if you will. Therefore, I am now the internet’s leading authority on being rad.

Let me take you through an awesome and rad day in the life of a rad kid, from skateboarding out of bed to skateboarding back into bed. But be warned – IT’S RAD TO THE MAX!

World of Crap is not responsible for any deaths that occur from over-radness.

7.00: Wake up from your awesome and rad dream, about beating Mario to death with Sonic’s trainers while that one from Saved By The Bell looks on. Think briefly about parachute pants.

7.15: Stick baseball cap to head with green hair gel. Gaze at Paula Abdul poster. Paula approves of your baseball cap.

7.30: Decide on outfit for the day.

Continue reading “The art of being rad” →

I’ve adopted some more action figures. I don’t really know who any of them are, but they’re all wrestlers and they all have interesting facial expressions and pants.

And what better use for wrestling figures than to have them share their household and fashion tips with you? I can’t think of anything, so that’s what I’ve decided to do. Let’s crack on!

Arsey Malcolm

Arsey Malcolm got his name by being a bit arsey with people, and also because his arse is at the front. His signature move is telling people to hurry the fuck up at cashpoints.

Arsey Malcolm says: “Don’t over-fill bin bags. About 3/4 full is good.” Continue reading “Wrestling figures give lifestyle advice” →

Hello. A while ago, I asked you guys on Twitter to tell me the stupid shit you were scared of as kids. The idea was to take a selection of your replies and draw them, thus bringing them to life in a horrifying vista of terror and bum shits.

However, I cannot draw. Therefore, these pictures have ended up being less than terrifying. So I’m just going to claim that this was my intention all along.

Join me in a lovely group therapy session, then, as I attempt to show you that your childhood fears were actually shit and crap.

NB: All your replies were great, but I was a bit limited by my artistic skills. Also, I had no idea how to do “the house with all the cats” or “Stan Laurel being turned into sausages”. Sorry about that.

Anyway – let’s begin!

“The sound of a flushing toilet”

“This is a weird one, but hear me out: Michael Buerk”

“The clock on the mantelpiece in my grandmother’s living room” Continue reading “Drawing rubbish pictures of your childhood fears” →

This list comes with the help of Bully’s Caravan on YouTube, who very thoughtfully put together 17 minutes of everyone’s favourite Argos reject shop for your perusal. Watch the full video here.

In the meantime, here’s a selection of the very best Central TV has to offer…

In 1!

Are you fat? We don’t want that! You massive twat. It’s this exercise thing.

In 2!

HOT PEAS! It’s this hostess trolley.

Continue reading “The best of Bully’s Prize Board” →

In the book I wrote, the protagonist’s prized possession is a Daniel O’Donnell mug that gives her advice. To celebrate selling any copies of my book at all, I’m going to buy myself a lovely Daniel mug. Obviously this has led to me browsing various objets d’art featuring the twinkly Irish crooner, which I couldn’t not share with you, because I’m nice like that.

Bingo dabber

Featuring all the floating Daniel heads you could ever want. Continue reading “Some lovely Daniel O’Donnell merchandise” →