Diary of an 80s teenager part 14: THE FINALE

Diary of an 80s teenager part 14: THE FINALE

Well, this is an quite emotional moment. It’s been a hell of a journey for me, your humble narrator, our brave heroine, and my 8 readers.

We got there in the end lads.

mr myagi

I’ll be honest, there isn’t much plot in this bit. I’ll be more honest, there isn’t any plot in this bit. But we do have some interesting and mental scribbles to look at.


If you’ve been doing the crossword at home, you might want to go back and not have seen this page. Spoiler alert. Anyway, Paul Bateman makes a welcome return to being ace after a notable absence while our heroine was distracted by perm kits.

Sadly, we’ll never know how the Paul Bateman saga turned out. Maybe she married him? Maybe she eventually rode off into the sunset with Tony, the third point in this love triangle? Or maybe she just went off him one day because he’d had his hair cut too short? I did that once. Do let me know how you think S’s love life turned out.

Over on the other page, we have a mixture of The Jam, The Beat, The Specials, Ska, Mod, and more Paul Bateman. I think S is being very forgiving here, considering Paul Bateman told her to “piss off”, then “fuck off”. We also have a couple of lesser-spotted Brocks.


In the time it’s taken S to turn the page, she’s gone from loving Paul Bateman to loving Brock. As everyone knows, your love counts for double if you write it on a Tube map.

S has also decided to be completely against war, and completely for peace:


Also of note is the unexpected return of Tony, although he’s obviously displeased our heroine again, probably by being a gimp and a div.


To finish, posters of Kate Bush, Ultravox and Spandau Ballet and an article about TV:


My favourite part is the following optimistic but wrong line:

“Will your school yearbook for 1991/2 still look like this – or will it be the size of a credit card, which you play in your portable TV?”

Thanks for reading guys. I hope one of you finds a Jam comb at some point.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 13: God this is boring

Diary of an 80s teenager part 13: God this is boring

We’re nearing the end lads. S certainly seems to think so anyway: her once carefully crafted prose about Paul Bateman and going to Bangor has now degenerated into a bored kind of scrawl, on those days where she remembers to exist.

But we’ve come this far, so we’re bloody well going to see it through to the end.



“Packed things to go. Aunty Ann and Uncle Tom came. Saw Minder.”


“Went to (No idea – see below). Saw Aunty Gaenor and Uncle Brian (How many of your relatives are on this fucking holiday? Have you actually rented Devon?), had supper.”

I cannot for the life of me work this out. I assume it’s North something, but Google Maps doesn’t throw up any likely suggestions. I did find somewhere called ‘Cockington’ though.

Anyway, what do we think?



“Went to Kents Cavern and around on bus.”

On the 19th and 20th, our heroine was once again put into suspended animation.


“Went to Torquay. Had spending spree.”

She’s a high roller.



“Went to Trago Mills. Uncle Brian came home.”

Why? Did he fall out with everyone? Or wasn’t there enough room in Devon for all of you?



“Went to Plymouth, got kylt. (I assume she means a kilt, since Googling ‘kylt’ comes up with ‘Kylt Products for Veterinary Diagnostics’.) Went on Hove (This makes fucking zero sense. I think she means something else. I also think she’s overdosed on Sanatogen or something.) Raced with Daffyd around statues.”


“Came home.”


“Woke up 1.55. Didn’t do anything all day.”


“Woke up 11.30. Copied up needlework. Aunty Eleri came.”


“Went to Kwiks, got perm kit. Saw Gail & Dewi. Aunty Eleri not well.”


“Went to Rhyl. Went to F. Fair. Bought Jam comb.”

Wow, she bought a comb with The Jam on it. Why? I wish I could find a picture of it, but I can’t so I’ll use a picture of the Charles and Diana comb I got in North Wales, proving that North Wales is a hotbed of shit combs:



“Went to church.”

I wish I could say “Whew, what an exciting ride eh lads?” But I don’t have the lying skills for that. Never mind, we’re almost there, and we can’t abandon it now just because it’s utter shit. This applies to most of my blog posts by the way.

Anyway, join me next time for our spectacular finale, featuring the return of Paul Bateman (sort of), some Teletext, and a tube map.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 12: chicken and jeans

Diary of an 80s teenager part 12: chicken and jeans

Welcome back people. Last week’s entry saw our heroine getting to grips with salad and exercising. Have her efforts paid off? Let’s find out…



“Woke up 10.30. Went to Bangor, had dinner. Went on holiday, was a long journey. When we reached (The Lake District), went down to the lake, and went on cruise along it. Was very tired.”



“Woke up 8.30. Had a lovely breakfast, orange juice, bacon & egg, and toast & coffee. Went to Dove Cottage where Wordsworth lived, and went around Grassmere. Went back to Bowness.”


“Woke up 8.20. Had a lovely breakfast again. Went over Kirkstone pass, had dinner there. Went to Ullswater, I sat in car. Had ice cream. Went to get chicken, went round shops in Bowness.”




“Woke up 8.30. Had lovely breakfast again. Went to Ambleside. (PLEASE STOP GOING TO PLACES YOU CAN’T SPELL AND I HAVE TO GOOGLE THEM) Had dinner there, then went to Grassmere, and then went round Bowness. Had toasted sandwich for supper.”


“Woke up 8.30. Had lovely last breakfast. Went round Bowness, went riding, had Pablo. Went home, went to get Winkle from Auntie Enid’s. Watched Cagney & Lacey.”


“Woke up 11.50. Went to Bangor. Went to Deiniolen.”

Sigh. Even the chicken was nail-biting compared to your usual routine.


“Went to church. Went to Auntie Joan’s on bike.”



“Woke up 10.20. Had dinner, did my embroidery. Watched telly. Had salad for tea. After, watched C. Street. Went to Nain’s to stay, saw Gail & Paul & Dafydd. Stayed the night.”


“Woke up 7.30. Had no breakfast. Started stripping Nain’s walls. Played with Dewi Puss. (Insert your own jokes here, I’m not your mother.) Had tea in Auntie Eleri’s, salad again. Went to bed 8.30, was very tired.”


“Woke up 8.30, had no breakfast. Went to Caernarvon, bought many things. Saw nasty girls. (?) Played with Dewi. Went to see Pedro. (Wait, wasn’t Pedro your horse in the Lake District? What’s going on?) Saw telly till 10, the went to bed.”

I don’t know if ‘nasty girls’ is any sort of movie, or if she literally means some bitches she knows. I’m not going to Google that one anyway.


“Woke up 10.30. Played with Dewi. After dinner Mam came, went to Auntie Enid’s. Came home, watched Fame & Top Of The Pops, went to bed.”


“Woke up 11.30. Had dinner, went to village, did some knitting. Watched Film Fun. Recorded all Maggie’s singles. Watched Magnum, Third Time Lucky, and On The Line.”

Me right now:



“Woke up 10.30. Went to Bangor. Watched telly.”


“Went to church. Went to bowling green. Went to stay in Nain’s.”



“Alan stayed.”


“Elfryn and Russell came.”

No idea why she’s suddenly decided to scrawl this in giant writing. She’s even stopped painstakingly noting her waking-up times. Something is afoot…

On the 11th and 12th, our heroine failed to even exist.


“Managed to get old blue jeans on. Saw Bonnie and Manon.”

Something about the way she says “managed to”:



“Went to Beaumaris. Saw U. Downstairs. (S)”



That’s your lot for now. Could it be that our heroine has suddenly decided to get herself a whirlwind social life, and no longer has time to record more than a cursory scrawl for posterity? Or is she just getting a bit bored of writing down the fact that she woke up at 8.37?

I’ve just realised as well – the really strange thing about this part is the lack of Tony and Paul Bateman. Has she renounced their affections on account of the fact that they’re divs and not interested in her? It’s a mystery.

Anyway, join me next time for the penultimate part, where S goes on a spending spree, and buys a perm kit.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 11: The biggest loser

Diary of an 80s teenager part 11: The biggest loser

In last week’s instalment, A MAN DIED AT SCHOOL, but S was more concerned with going to Bangor and buying shoes. This part carries on with the ‘Let’s only concentrate on the quite dull stuff that happened’ theme, and our heroine gets a suntan, but only on her hands…



“Woke 12.40 (ridiculous). After dinner, went to Menai Bridge, got my Guy comic. Came back, watched film, ‘Rose Of Washington Square’. Started knitting waistcoat. Watched Coronation Street & Minder.”


“Woke 10.40 (better). Had salad for dinner again. Went to library. Watched telly. After tea, salad again, went on bike with Maggs and Daren. Watched Simon & Simon, and Dallas Or Bust (F).”


“Woke up 10.40. Had dinner, salad again. Went to Bangor, got Madness single, Kim, and bag. (I have no idea what Kim is.) Maggie left me in Bangor. Knitted waistcoat. Auntie Ann and Uncle Tom came. Watched C. Street, Falcon Crest, and Butterflies.”

This is what a salad looked like in 1982:

80s salad


“Woke up 12.10. Had salad for dinner. Did some needlework catching up, went to Sharon’s, saw her kitten. Washed hair, went to Milburns disco, saw Brock. (!) Bethan went out with a bloke on C.B.”

C.B.? Please mean one of these, because they’re mega:



“Woke up 10.00. Went to Kwiks. Had pork pie and banana yoghurt for dinner. (Infinitely better than salad.) Went to Nain’s, used Quick Tan on my hands. Watched funny film. Tan turned out lovely. Went out on bike, watched Fall Guy in Maggie’s. Went 35 times round green. Watched Cagney & Lacey.”

“Tan turned out lovely.”



“Woke up 11.40. Went to Bangor. Got top. Went to DEINIOLEN.”

Please stop going to that place I can’t spell! And why are you now shouting it?


“Went to church, had Sunday dinner. Went to Maggie’s garden to sunbathe. TRAIN STRIKE OVER.”



“Woke up 8.30. Went to Rhyl on train. Went rollerskating. Went on beach to sunbathe, then went round shops. Got 5.50 train home, changed in junction. Watched C. Street. Started doing exercises. Watched Minder.”


“Woke up 10.40, went out on bike. Recorded One Step for Daren. Did exercises all afternoon. After tea went to Mandy’s to get her needlework books. Then went to Maggie’s. She put make up on me. Saw Tony in Beaumaris.”

TONY! Can’t remember if we’re supposed to like you or not by this point, but oh well.


“Woke up 11.30. Had tomatoes for dinner. (What, just tomatoes?) Did exercises all afternoon. Had chop & spaghetti for tea. Did exercises again. Mam didn’t feel well. Watched C. Street & Butterflies.”

How does someone even do exercises “all afternoon”?

2015-06-19 11.56.51


“Woke up 9.30. Mam surprised me by saying we’d go to Llandudno. Had a lovely day, got shoes & wool. Mam felt better. Went to Milburns. Lent Maggie’s clothes. Had bath.”


“Woke up 9.30, went to vet with Blackie, saw gorgeous vet. Went to Kwiks, and Nain’s, was on Lon Mor all afternoon. Went on bike 50 times round green, watched Magnum, and On The Line.”


“Woke up 10.50. Went to Llandudno with T.C.”



“Went to church. Packed to go on holiday. Had a bath.”

Join me next time for a special holiday edition, followed by a marked drop in the quality of our heroine’s output.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 10: Bloody hell

Diary of an 80s teenager part 10: Bloody hell

Welcome back to S’s diary. In part 9 we saw our heroine REALLY not liking Sarah or Brooke Shields. This part is even more worrying than that. Seriously, I sat here for 10 minutes muttering “bloody hell” to myself.

Let’s crack on…



“Woke up 8.35, went to school. Had double Welsh. Saw Tony Parry in Maths, I like him. (My money’s on this being a different Tony, she wouldn’t suddenly decide to start using his surname unless she was mental.) Had G. Science. Saw exam timetable. Had letter on Alton Towers. Revised English. Saw C. Street, & Live & Let Die, and Steptoe & Son.”










“Went to Bangor. Got rollerskates. Went to Deiniolen.”


“Went to church. Revised. Went to Llanfechell.”



“Woke up 8.30. Went to school, had lots of free lessons, to revise. Went to Sarah’s party, gave her £1. Lent Bat Out Of Hell L.P., it’s good. Watched play, ‘On Approval’, it was ace!”


“Woke up 8.45, was not late for school, did not have Sociology marks. Had film in Commerce, NatWest man came. Put in places for exams.”



“Woke up 8.35, had English exam, for three hours, then had Maths after dinner, it wasn’t too bad. After tea revised Biol., and watched Coronation Street, and Butterflies, and Chicago Story.”


“Woke up 8.50, was nearly late. Had Biol. exam, I don’t think I’ve done well. After dinner had Welsh exam. Watched Top Of The Pops, and Fame.”


“Woke up 8.35, went to school. Had no exam in morning, had to go in 1.00 for English exam. It was quite easy. Made cakes when I came home. Watched Selwyn Froggitt, and Please Sir. Mam not feeling well.”


“Got rollerskates for present”

“Went to Rhyl. Went rollerskating. Saw Elfryn in my party.”

Birthday?!!?? Happy birthday S!!!!!!



“Went to church. Elfryn, Julie and Russell came. Only stayed for 3 minutes.”

I’m not surprised, since you were clearly standing there with a stopwatch.



“Woke up 8.35, went to school. Had General Science and C. Studies exams, they were very hard. (I’m not surprised – General Science is spent staring at Tony, and you don’t seem to have ever been near a computer in Computer Studies.) Afternoon revised. Came home, had tea. Revised some more. Watched C. Street.”


“Woke up 8.30. Went to school. Had Maths and Welsh Language exam. Revised in afternoon. Came home, had piece of birthday cake.”


“Woke up 8.35, went to school. Had commerce exam, the very last one. After dinner went to S & A (I think), got bag and tee shirt. After tea, paradise, no revising. Watched C. Street, Benny Hill, Butterflies and Chicago Story.”


“Woke up 8.35. Had double G. Science. Didn’t get mark. Had free lessons all day. Had 48% in Sociology. Watched Fame and Top Of The Pops & Max Boyce.”


“Woke up 8.35. Went to school. Had double Gym. Had Tennis. Had nice dinner. Had Biol. mark. Went to Menai Bridge to get comics & sweets. Went to Nain’s, Alan came eventually. (?) Maggie phoned.”


“Went to Southport. Went to fair & round shops.”


“Woke up 10.45. Went to see Alan. Came home, watched telly.”



“Woke up 8.30. Andrea brought her clothes here. Sarah came here dinner time, to get record. (Can’t believe you’ve forgiven that whore of babylon.) Andrea came here after school, to stay. Had trifle for tea. Played tapes & Cluedo in bed. Want Mam very much.”

Where is Mam?


“Alton Towers”

“Woke up 6.45. Took ages in bus to get to Alton Towers. We got here 12.00. Andrea, Sarah and Donna went on Corkscrew, went on Pirate Ship, went to aquarium, went in penny arcade, got brilliant disco & buffet on way back.”



“Woke up 8.35, went to school. Had free lessons all day. Went to Needlework. Made friends with Maggie. Made better friends with Gwyn. Took in trousers. Went to Maggie’s till 8.30. Watched Chicago Story.”


“Woke up 8.35. Had free lessons all day. Very hot weather, man collapsed and died in school. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Went to Bangor, bought shoes and bolero. Washed hair, went to school disco, danced with Justin and Phil Bach.”

“Man collapsed and died in school. Went to Bangor.”




“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had tennis. Had free lessons again all day. Had lesson with Gorgeous Gwyn. (I DON’T GIVE A FUCK, A MAN DIED YESTERDAY!) Had report. School closed. Mam not pleased with report. Started to catch up with Needlework. (S)”


“Woke up 10.30. Went to Bangor. Auntie Enid here.”


“Went to church. Watched telly. Had bath. Went out, met Mandy.”

I’m quite relieved to be stopping here. Bloody hell. Anyway, join me in part 11 for salad and obsessive exercising.

Bloody hell.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 9: I’LL KILL HER

Diary of an 80s teenager part 9: I’LL KILL HER

Welcome back to S’s diary. Last week’s gripping instalment saw our heroine continuing to be a bit stalky over Paul Bateman, and going to Rhyl. Let’s crack on with a bit of a bumper entry, and read all about the demon Welsh teacher, and S’s Pope obsession.



“Woke up 8.30. Went to school, had double Welsh. I cannot stand that new Welsh teacher. Had General Science, Sam Fleet was pestering me. Watched C. Street, revised, watched Hill Street Blues.”


“Woke up 8.35. Had double free lesson in Sociology, went to hall. Andrea bought Mars bar for David. Had double Commerce.


I hate it when you FORGET. (????)


“Woke up 8.30. Went to school, had double C. Studies. Had double Welsh ugh! Had double Biol., gave homework in. Watched Coronation Street.”


“Woke up 8.30. Had double General Science, Tony not there, thank goodness. Went to Bangor in Sociology. Andrea came to my house, went to Milburn disco, it was brill, Brock was there.”


“Woke up 8.25. Had double rounders. Sarah told me she fancied Paul. I’ll kill her. Had summary in English, it was hard. Paul not in school. Watched Fall Guy, Bounder and play.”

“Sarah told me she fancied Paul. I’ll kill her.”



“Went on Oxfam walk, saw Paul, went to Deiniolen.”


“No church, stayed in bed till 1.15. Revised, went to bath.”



“Woke up 8.35. Took camera, Paul not in school. Sarah not in school, great! Samantha had her hair cut!! Barbara had perm. Tony not in school. Went round with sponsors. Watched Hill Street.”

To be fair to our heroine, Sarah does sound like a devious cow. Don’t forget it was Sarah who asked Paul Bateman out on behalf of S, knowing he would probably say no, at which point she would swoop in with her claws and her stupid mullet (probably). The moral of the story: never trust anyone.


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had Sociology, then had rounders in Gym. I made ½ a rounder. Did some homework, watched Flesh & Blood, and Play For Tomorrow.”


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had double C. Studies. Had double Welsh with horrible Mrs Jones. Had homework back in Biol., had a real kicking. Watched Coronation in Maggie’s, went to Rhian’s house.”

Mrs Jones:

mrs jones


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had G. Science test, I hope I did well. After tea went to Milburn disco, Brock was there. Boys kept making fun of me.”


“Woke up 8.30. Had rounders for Gym. Had C. Studies in computer room. Brock in our registration class. Had underground railway in English folio, it was hard. Watched play on BBC2, and McClain’s Law.”


“Went to Bangor. Bought singles. Went to Deiniolen.”


“Went to church. Revised. Winkle collapsed with heat.”

Oh no! Poor Winkle who I assume is a dog.



“Woke up 10.35, watched Taming Of The Shrew. Went on walk with Auntie Ann and Uncle Tom, met nice people. Had ice cream, and Beat patch. Had chips in Auntie Ann’s. Watches News. Pope on it.”

the beat patch


“Woke up 11.00. Had dinner, went to Deiniolen, went on trip to little place, with nice church, and lots of horses. Had nice picnic. Went home straight, watched French film, Dad made chips.”


“Woke up 12.10. Watched Pope. (What is this new obsession with the Pope?) Had chicken & chips for dinner. Revised. Went to Penmon. Lost ring. Auntie Vera came. Went back for ring. Watched Coronation. Went to talk to Mags, watched Butterflies and Frost In May.”


“Woke up 9.45. Went to Kwiks. Went to Nain’s, I am staying the night. After tea went to get w. skis, went on Play Cards R. computer. Went to Auntie Jean’s. Played game with Auntie Eleri. Nain got new car.”



“Woke up 8.50. Studied and played with kittens. Watched Charlie’s Angels. Studied and played with kittens all afternoon. Watched telly. Mam came after Crossroads. Cut jeans. Watched 4 Musketeers and McClain’s Law.”


“Went to Rhyl. Got shorts. Bought LP single. Watched P. Of The Apes.”


“Went to church. Revised. Nain came. Watched ‘the Guru’.



“Woke up 8.35, went to school, had double Welsh. Saw Tony in Maths. D.P. sort of asked me out, but nothing happened. Started revising Sociology. Watched C. Street & revised some more.”

DP! Who is DP? I’m going to go for a young Ralph Macchio, but instead imagine he’s called Dave.

dp 2


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had double Sociology, revised a bit in class. Elaine been in London. Had Commerce with Andy (Andrea?), asked if she wanted to stay in my house. Watched French film, The Evil Trap.”


“Woke up 8.35. Had double C. Studies, I’m dreading the exam, I know I’m going to do badly. Revised some more Sociology, watched C. Street, Benny Hill, and last part of Frost In May.”


“Woke up 8.30, went to school, had double G. Science. Had Commerce with Andrea. Went to Milburns, saw Brock. Boy asked Mags, saw Donna’s boyfriend, had bath.”


“Woke up 8.30, went to school, had double rounders. Ann got row. Had double C. Studies, I’ve got to change to Needlework. (!) After dinner had Biology. Revised English till 8.50, helped Mam tape records, phoned Auntie Gaenor.”

Computer Studies to Needlework?


“Went to village. Went on A.E. Boat. Went to Beaumaris.”


“No church. Went on bike to Auntie Joan’s. Left ring.”

Beginning to think you’re trying to lose that ring on purpose.


There’s an address I’ve had to cover, so I’ve covered it with a postcard of Rhyl. The rest of the page is filled with a weight chart, where we discover our heroine is on a diet, possibly in order to attract Brock, who is ace. S, seriously: Kit-kats are better than Brock. Trust me.

We can only speculate on what Brooke Shields’ crime was. Maybe she asked Paul Bateman out.

Join me in part 10 for exam stress and a trip to Alton Towers…

Diary of an 80s teenager part 8: Coronation Street And.

Diary of an 80s teenager part 8: Coronation Street And.

Welcome back to our 80’s diary. Last week, our heroine was cleaning out the pantry and eating the dubious-sounding ‘London grill’. What japes will she get up to this time? Let’s find out…


To begin, a poster of Kenny Everett’s Captain Kremmen & Carla, and a smashing art, possibly a self portrait. Anyone know what those letters are about?



“Woke up 8.30, went to school, children went to see film. Wore skirt Mam made for me, it is miles too long. Mandy came for dinner, made friends with Andrea Elis. Had Maths homework, watched Coronation Street, and Mike Harding show. Andrea not in school.”

I guess the Andreas aren’t the same person. How do you get to a point in your life where you know two people called Andrea?


“Woke up 8.30. Had double Sociology, had rounders in Gym, I was last post, played quite well. Chips got (something???) in Commerce, Joanne and Amanda kept picking on each other. Watched Different Strokes. Not friends with Daren. Watched Flesh And Blood.”


“Woke up 8.30, had double Computer Studies. Had my last lesson with G.T., it was very sad. Had double Biol. in afternoon. Went for a ride with Mam to Penmynydd. Watched Coronation, TV Times Awards, Robert Wagner on it.”

robert wagner


“Woke up 8.30. Had double General Science. (No Tony?) Weather turned for the worse. Mr Griffiths was there in Commerce. Mr. Black not in school. Had double free lesson. Mr Grinwalds took files in. Went to Nain’s, got belt and brooch from Israel.”


“Woke up 8.35, had hockey and rounders in Gym, I was last post again. Got name down for tie and skirt. Had folio, on countryside. Went home dinnertime to get Biol. book. Mam came. Went to Sharon’s with Maggie, made tea, did homework, watched Bounder and We’ll Meet Again.”


“Did English research. Went to Deiniolen.”


“Went to church. Went to Auntie Joan’s. Watched Hart To Hart.”



“Woke up 9.45, went to train to Rhyl. Went to fair, went on Jet Stream, Matterhorn, Ski Jump, and new thing. Had doughnuts, went round shops. Saw Madness video in Woolworth, bought present for Mam & Dad, watched Agatha Christie’s ‘Murder Is Easy’.”


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had new Welsh teacher, Mrs. Jones, don’t like her much. Had running in Gym, 3 ½ times round field. Learnt Biol. Watched Flesh & Blood, and Play For Tomorrow, ‘The Nuclear Family’.”


“Woke up 8.30, went to school. Had double C. Studies, in computer room. Had Biol. test, didn’t do too well I don’t think. Went to Menai Bridge disco, Linda going with Barry, Mo was there, Donna was not there, Bernie was.” (S)

In Part 7, someone pointed out that (S) and (F) are probably to do with girl’s periods that girls have.


“Woke up 8.30. Had General Science test. Had film in Commerce. Had horrible dinner. Had Sociology, then had Maths homework. Watched Top Of The Pops, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum, and Sorry, also Bird Of prey.”


“Woke up 8.30. Had double rounders. I found out Paul left school. (!!!!) Going on Oxfam walk I think. Had Biol. test results. 14 out of 30. Went out after tea, watched Fall Guy, Bounder and We’ll Meet Again, read Brave New World.”

You don’t seem that fussed about Paul. I was expecting this:



“Mam bought wool knit waistcoat. Went to Deiniolen.”


“Went to church. Revised Commerce. Had job interview in Castle Hotel.”



“Woke up 8.30. Had Welsh with new teacher again, I still don’t like her. Had General Science results, I got 89%, I came 1st. (At least that shit Tony’s been good for something then.) Watched Coronation Street, and film, ‘Your 3 Minutes Are Up!’ Went to chippy for job.”


“Woke up 8.35. Had double Sociology. Had rounders in Gym. Paul Bateman was in school. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) He’s going on the Oxfam walk. So am I. (This next bit really looks like “Dad lost paint on himself”, but that makes zero sense. Any advance on that?) Watched Play For Tomorrow, ‘Shades’.”

“He’s going on the Oxfam walk. So am I.”



“Woke up 8.30. Had double C. Studies. Had double Welsh. I really don’t like the Welsh teacher. Mr. Morgan sent me on errand. Watched Coronation Street And.”

“Coronation Street And.”


“Woke up 8.30. Had no lessons all day, because of sports. It was very hot. Maggie came for sponsor form. Went to Milburns disco it was fantastic!”


“Woke up 8.30. Had double rounders. Had English folio, essay on nurses. Had double Biol., Gwyn and Geoffrey sponsored me. Auntie Mair and Uncle Alwyn came. (HOW MANY BOLLOCKING RELATIVES DO YOU HAVE) Watched last part of We’ll Meet Again.


“Went to Rhyl. Went to roller skating. Bought singles.”


“Day off church. Did revising. Knitted.”

We’ll leave it on that cliffhanger. Join me in Part 9, where we discover that our heroine really doesn’t like Brooke Shields.