On the run from Andi Peters following a misunderstanding about cruises, Melissa begrudgingly agrees to follow her friend Joanne (and Joanne’s 17th century throwback ‘life partner’ Fax) to the Edinburgh Fringe. While leafleting for Fax’s dreadful stand up show about faith healing and vegans, Melissa endures the highs and lows of pretentious student plays, ‘street typing’, and the knowledge that her shop has been left in the hands of someone who doesn’t understand tills…
Crap Comedy is the follow up to the 2018 novel Crap Holiday. Read it here.
The train carriage smells of wee. For some reason I keep thinking going to the buffet car would help with this problem. It might help for all I know, but I’m never going to test that theory since it involves moving. Better to just learn to live with the wee smell.
Joanne and Fax were still in bed when I left this morning. This was good because I didn’t have the embarrassment of them coming to see me off like they’d threatened to last night when they were smashed (Fax said something about a hankie). On the other hand, I did have to hold in my puke and judgement long enough to go into their bedroom while they were in it.
I inched my head around their door, nose first; to my relief they weren’t engaged in copious amounts of farmyard grunting and I Gave My Love A shitting Cherry, they were just asleep. Joanne was snoring.
‘Guys, I’m off now.’
No reply. At least one of them farts.
‘WAKE FUCKING UP’
Joanne wakes up. ‘What?’
‘I’m going now.’
I’m going to the train station aren’t I?’
‘Oh right yeah.’ Joanne thinks for a minute. ‘Will you get me a sugar free Red Bull while you’re out?’
‘Yeah.’ I don’t bother explaining to her why this is not going to happen. I’m too hungover and late for my train to start going over the finer points of energy drink logistics.Continue reading “Crap Comedy Chapter 50: Minecraft”