Rainbow episode review: Keep your hands to yourself

Rainbow episode review: Keep your hands to yourself

This episode is about touching things, feeling things up, and generally molesting things. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s probably not called ‘Molesting Things’.

The gang have a cat. This is never explained, and is never mentioned again. This happens sometimes, like when Geoffrey married Bungle and they had a baby.

Geoffrey looks happy to have a cat. Bungle is wondering how he can eat the cat without Geoffrey noticing.

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The cat’s like “I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a man in a bear suit over there, and this is not standard. Call the police, I’ll try to act natural.” Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Keep your hands to yourself”

Rainbow episode review: While you were sleeping

Rainbow episode review: While you were sleeping

You know what’s overrated? Getting out of bed. Yet the propaganda merchants at Rainbow will have you believe that something other than disappointment awaits you. This is clearly a lie.

To be fair to them, they do immediately present the only reason to get out of bed – Bungle is in the bed with you.

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I’d rather get up than lie there in Bungle’s piss and shit.

Meanwhile, Geoffrey is preparing to face the horrors of the day. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: While you were sleeping”

Rainbow episode review: George’s bum football

Rainbow episode review: George’s bum football

I’m mostly reviewing this episode because I’ve thought of the world’s best joke, to be inserted into one of the scenes. I’ll let you know when we get to the world’s best joke so you won’t miss it, don’t worry.

Let’s begin. George is attempting to sing ‘Old McDonald Had A Farm’. However, he is faced with two obstacles:

1. Zippy keeps doing the wrong animal noises like a shitlord

2. George is stupid.

The combination of these two factors leads to George losing his shit with Zippy and calling him “silly”, which is the Rainbow universe equivalent of calling him a blithering cunt.

1 Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: George’s bum football”

Rainbow episode review: Three divs in a boat

Rainbow episode review: Three divs in a boat

You know how sometimes Geoffrey gets sick of everyone’s shit and fucks off, leaving Bungle in charge? This is one of those times.

Geoffrey’s gone on a narrowboat holiday with Rod, Jane and Freddy, probably in Norfuck. Great job Geoffrey – they definitely won’t do anything like burn the house down or fall for a PPI scam.

Might I remind you that last time you went out and left Bungle in charge, he dressed up as Superman and this was his version of ‘being in charge’.

super bungle Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Three divs in a boat”

Rainbow episode review: Hambungle

Rainbow episode review: Hambungle

Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of food, it’s my favourite. So this episode is right up my overweight street.

The title of this episode is “S14Ep16”, which isn’t very good as far as titles go. Its other title is probably ‘Fast Food’; this is just a hunch I got after seeing the episode, which is about fast food.

Can you tell I’m wazzed off my tits on codeine?

Anyway, let’s begin. Zippy and George are setting the table for lunch.

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“There’s no point setting the table,” says George. “We don’t know what we’re having for lunch.”

Yes but I’d say ‘some kind of food’, therefore plates is quite a good idea George. You twat. Plates are only going to be wrong if you’re having soup for lunch, or just taking bites out of Bungle. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Hambungle”

Rainbow episode review: Dead Wrongers

Rainbow episode review: Dead Wrongers

Today we are reviewing this episode:

bungle jane

People who follow me on Twatter will be familiar with this picture whether they want to be or not, because I tweet it several times an hour. Today, we’re going to answer the age-old question that no one asked except me: Why is Bungle dressed as Jane?

Disclaimer: I have an ear infection and things aren’t making much sense to me at the moment. I’m not sure how watching Bungle going round in a skirt will help matters, but this is what I’m choosing to do. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Dead Wrongers”

Rainbow episode review: The Crap Fair

I’m watching this episode blind. I have no idea what it’s about, or even what it’s called – it’s a random episode I found on Youtube. It could be about the plight of the Tolpuddle Martyrs, or it could be about one of them losing a pencil. Both are equally likely.

The gang are playing some bullshit with giant cards. Jane is arranging some flowers because she is the woman one.

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I have no idea why she’s arranging flowers in their house – did any of them say they wanted any flowers? I bet they didn’t. You don’t go round to someone else’s house and do flower arranging there. This adds further reinforcement to my theory that Rod, Jane and Freddy live in the Rainbow kitchen. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: The Crap Fair”