Ever wondered what would happen if Bungle, George and Zippy formed a shit band and made loads of noise all day, and Geoffrey just let them get away with it instead of selling them for medical experiments like he should?

This, as usual, is the fault of Rod Jane and Freddy. We begin with a lovely music video, from Rod Jane and Freddy’s ‘We’re proper rock stars, honestly, we don’t only sing about Old Mother Hubbard’ phase. Didn’t last long.

Rod, as usual, is the best one. Look how best he is.

He’s going to have the groupies hanging off his willy tonight. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: No one’s got talent” →

You know that group that goes round shouting that the world’s going to end in 6 minutes if you don’t stop farting? I think they got the idea from this episode, only instead of writing letters like the Rainbow gang, they decided to shout at broccoli instead.

Let’s begin. The gang are having a lovely afternoon out at their local… nature.

Geoffrey, Zippy and George are enjoying themselves. I’m sure Bungle is too, it’s just that he can’t do the expression. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: extinction rebellion” →

This episode is about touching things, feeling things up, and generally molesting things. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s probably not called ‘Molesting Things’.

The gang have a cat. This is never explained, and is never mentioned again. This happens sometimes, like when Geoffrey married Bungle and they had a baby.

Geoffrey looks happy to have a cat. Bungle is wondering how he can eat the cat without Geoffrey noticing.

The cat’s like “I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a man in a bear suit over there, and this is not standard. Call the police, I’ll try to act natural.” Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Keep your hands to yourself” →

You know what’s overrated? Getting out of bed. Yet the propaganda merchants at Rainbow will have you believe that something other than disappointment awaits you. This is clearly a lie.

To be fair to them, they do immediately present the only reason to get out of bed – Bungle is in the bed with you.

I’d rather get up than lie there in Bungle’s piss and shit.

Meanwhile, Geoffrey is preparing to face the horrors of the day. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: While you were sleeping” →

I’m mostly reviewing this episode because I’ve thought of the world’s best joke, to be inserted into one of the scenes. I’ll let you know when we get to the world’s best joke so you won’t miss it, don’t worry.

Let’s begin. George is attempting to sing ‘Old McDonald Had A Farm’. However, he is faced with two obstacles:

1. Zippy keeps doing the wrong animal noises like a shitlord

2. George is stupid.

The combination of these two factors leads to George losing his shit with Zippy and calling him “silly”, which is the Rainbow universe equivalent of calling him a blithering cunt.

Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: George’s bum football” →

You know how sometimes Geoffrey gets sick of everyone’s shit and fucks off, leaving Bungle in charge? This is one of those times.

Geoffrey’s gone on a narrowboat holiday with Rod, Jane and Freddy, probably in Norfuck. Great job Geoffrey – they definitely won’t do anything like burn the house down or fall for a PPI scam.

Might I remind you that last time you went out and left Bungle in charge, he dressed up as Superman and this was his version of ‘being in charge’.

Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Three divs in a boat” →

Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of food, it’s my favourite. So this episode is right up my overweight street.

The title of this episode is “S14Ep16”, which isn’t very good as far as titles go. Its other title is probably ‘Fast Food’; this is just a hunch I got after seeing the episode, which is about fast food.

Can you tell I’m wazzed off my tits on codeine?

Anyway, let’s begin. Zippy and George are setting the table for lunch.

“There’s no point setting the table,” says George. “We don’t know what we’re having for lunch.”

Yes but I’d say ‘some kind of food’, therefore plates is quite a good idea George. You twat. Plates are only going to be wrong if you’re having soup for lunch, or just taking bites out of Bungle. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Hambungle” →