Corner Shop Crap: the poo of vengeance

Corner Shop Crap: the poo of vengeance

Like anyone who’s ever been stuck in a queue in Tesco, I’ve wanted to throw shit at people. However, I rarely do so. This is due to a combination of factors:

– fear of the rozzers

– wanting to complete purchase of pop tarts

– laziness

– not wanting to touch poo

However, those plucky inventors have been at it again, and have devised an ingenious weapon for slinging poo at your enemies:

poo1 Continue reading “Corner Shop Crap: the poo of vengeance”

How to use the phone in 1972

How to use the phone in 1972

I hate using the phone. I’m guessing you all hate using the phone too. This is because they have the ability to turn a harmless human being into a frightening, disembodied voice. Most telephones also come with an inbuilt translation device, which turns phrases like ‘Hello, can I speak to Mr Jones please?’ into ‘I am a demon spawn and I like to drink my own wee.’

If only there was a handy, out of date instructional film to show us how to use the phone properly.

I present to you – The Telephone At Work, which tells you everything you need to know about using the telephone at work. In 1972. Continue reading “How to use the phone in 1972”

The Panini Football Sticker Awards

The Panini Football Sticker Awards

Just a small thing today, because I’m still not very well, but I thought we could have a look through some lovely football stickers. And since I am in a generous mood, I shall be handing out awards for the best ones. The footballers in question won’t actually get anything, or know they’ve won, but IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS OK.

(Spoiler alert: still off my tits on cough medicine lads.)

The ‘It’s OK, my hair can go in goal’ award:

hair can go in goal Continue reading “The Panini Football Sticker Awards”