I’m a bit obsessed with old coin-op rides. For a mere 20p, you can have the thrill of sitting there and going up and down, or round and round. Sometimes you even get to sit next to a celebrity like Postman Pat.

While there are some rides that are quite rightly considered classics (more on that here), there are others that are… less nice. These rides cost 20p and your immortal soul.

Warning: Try not to read this sober. Or at all.

1. “Help, kill it with fire”

Why is it in an office. Continue reading “18 terrifying coin op rides” →

Got this catalogue in a TV guide the other week:

Now that I am a middle aged ball of pessimism and lard, I find myself viewing these catalogues as “quite good actually – you can scoff, but do you have adequate lumbar support?”

With that disclaimer out of the way, I still reserve the right to take the piss out of these catalogues, on the grounds that they’re a bit shit. Continue reading “Healthy Living Direct: face protein and foot tampons” →

Thanks to everyone who appreciated Ed’s obvious genius and skill – if you’d like a part 2 let me know. Anyway, here are the answers:

1. The A Team

2. Game Of Thrones

3. Rainbow

4. Last Of The Summer Wine

5. Ski Sunday

6. Neighbours

7. The Apprentice

8. BBC News

9. Bullseye

10. Blockbusters

Thank you for playing. To say thank you, here is a picture of George in a homemade judge’s wig.

Here are three stupid things I’ve done:

1. The other day I spent ten minutes looking for something that was in my hand.

2. I was in my 30s before I realised the outdoor bits on Rainbow were filmed indoors.

3. I once needed help opening a bin because I thought it was robotic. It wasn’t.

Given this, it warms my heart to know that there are other idiots in the world. Back in the day I used to collect mental questions people had asked on Yahoo answers. If you’re unfamiliar with it, Yahoo Answers is like Quora, but for people with steam coming out of their vaginas (I’ll get to that).

I stumbled across my collection the other day, so I’d like to share some of my best findings with you. I might attempt to answer them, I might not. Depends how much wine I drink.

Answer: Do what I do – own one bra, never take it off. Occasionally find Hula Hoops in there.

Answer: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THIS AS WELL PLEASE. Continue reading ““Are all fish belongs to fish?”: Answering Vintage Yahoo Questions” →

The other day we welcomed a new addition to our family:

Ed is a rubber chicken from the pound shop. Some uneducated fools might suggest that Ed is a dog toy – he is no such thing. Ed is a beloved pet/objet d’art/provider of musical accompaniment.

Anyway, after we’d finished off the terrible booze from last Friday night, we discovered that Ed was a beautiful singer, and that gave us a brilliant idea. We’ve got Ed to help us with a game of ‘Name that classic TV theme’ for your enjoyment.

Below are videos of Ed singing ten different TV themes, and you guys can try guessing them if you want. Leave your guesses in the comments below, and if anyone gets them all right then… well, quite frankly I’ll be amazed. Continue reading “Name that TV theme featuring Ed the rubber chicken” →

On Friday night we went to Tesco. That was our second mistake. Our first mistake was going to B&M before we went to Tesco.

We went out to buy wrapping paper, but came back with proof that neither of us should be allowed out without supervision.

This haul was a result of standing there laughing and going “I dare you to drink that”. The skeleton mask isn’t really relevant, I just wanted to buy it so I did.

Anyway, because deep down we hate ourselves, we decided it would be fun to get shitfaced by drinking stuff that’s two steps up from prison slop bucket moonshine. One of them might actually contain washing powder, we’re not sure.

The plan was fiendishly simple: get a bit hammered on the worst booze in the world and watch shit on Youtube. NOTHING COULD GO WRONG. Continue reading “Drinking the worst booze in the world” →

A while ago, I realised how shit/brilliant some Sega Master System box art is. I didn’t play many Master System games, but I’m pretty sure I never played games about microwaves, self aware peas, or any of the other abominations on the covers I’ve seen.

Anyway, these things keep making themselves known to me, and cataloguing them is better than doing actual work, so here are some more.

Alex Kidd: High-Tech World

“Excuse me while I threaten you outside the Eden Project.” Also, I don’t see what’s so high-tech about a fight between a guy with a sword and a guy with a hand. Continue reading “More stupid Master System box art” →