A Bunch Of Sci-Fi Print Ads

A Bunch Of Sci-Fi Print Ads

I’ll admit, I don’t know much about sci-fi. I know about Rainbow and eating biscuits. But the other day I didn’t want to do the washing up, so I sat and looked through a bunch of old sci-fi magazines instead.

starlog header

I didn’t read the articles, which I assume were things like “How to hide your erection while talking about that one off Star Trek”, but I did have a good look at the adverts. I was surprised to find things like fashion and commemorative plates, in an unexpected crossover with Woman’s Realm.

Look, I’m shit at writing introductions, so let’s crack on with the adverts…

Space Jacket

052_0001

I’m confused. If this is the OFFICIAL AUTHORISED Space Shuttle jacket, does that mean anyone who wears one gets to go on a space shuttle, and no one gets to question them? Continue reading “A Bunch Of Sci-Fi Print Ads”

A look through the 1987 Toys R Us catalogue

A look through the 1987 Toys R Us catalogue

Are you ready for the best thing you’ll see today? That’s right, it’s time for another round of ‘Middle aged woman looks at toys, instead of doing grown up things like mending’.

p1

Our cover star is the NES, which comes with Rob, the shit disc-shuffling robot. (For more info on why Rob was such a failure, you might want to listen to this episode of the Retroist podcast.) That boy is shooting at Rob,  and also at his Nintendo, that’s how much he hates them.

As a Sega fan, I am pissed off they relegated the Master System to a postage stamp sized “also”. The fuckers. Continue reading “A look through the 1987 Toys R Us catalogue”

12 VHS tapes from 1992

12 VHS tapes from 1992

A while back I found this old photo –

videos and me

Ignore the fat sleeping child, which is me. What really grabbed my attention was the collection of videos, sat minding their own business on the wall unit behind me.

just videos

With the help of social media, I was able to identify some of the blurrier ones. I’m not going to bore you with my dad’s collection of Shadows videos, or the blank ones that no doubt have episodes of Spender on them; I’ll just stick to mine, which were the best. Continue reading “12 VHS tapes from 1992”

How to make your own Fiendish Feet

How to make your own Fiendish Feet

Fiendish Feet was the yoghurt of the cool and happening kid in the early 1990s. Much better than its rivals, the mediocre Munch Bunch, the shit Petits Filous, and the even shitter Ski.

fiendish-feet-yogurt

As you can see, the pots were a thing of beauty, each having feet and the face of various terrifying monsters. Needless to say, these pots now go for hundreds of pounds on Ebay. I assume, I didn’t actually look.

We decided to have a crack at making our own, and we’ve included step by step instructions so you can follow along at home, if you’re a bit strange.

You will need:

– Yoghurt pots
– Glue
– Sellotape
– Paint
– Odds n Ends
– ROUND ENDED SCISSORS
– Gin Continue reading “How to make your own Fiendish Feet”

Kickstarter: The World Of Crap Annual

Kickstarter: The World Of Crap Annual

Stories! Quizzes! Horoscopes! Swearing Bungle! Misc!

Does this sound like something you’d want to throw your money away on, like an idiot? Hopefully it does, otherwise I’m a bit screwed.

After a year of various people nagging me, I’ve launched a Kickstarter to make a world of Crap annual.

Yes! No! I mean… hopefully!

World of Crap annual cover 02

That’s right! For up to some money, you too can get an annual full of quality content, such as: Continue reading “Kickstarter: The World Of Crap Annual”

17 Brilliant Album Covers

17 Brilliant Album Covers

One of the things I like to do is go round charity shops and laugh at the shit LPs they have. Since I can’t do this at the moment, I thought I’d have a knob around on Google instead. While you look for something better to do, why not spend five minutes browsing some top artistes and their wares? It beats sitting there scratching your bits, which incidentally is my other hobby.

pat boone

I keep reading this as “in a mental mood”. Doesn’t Pat Boone mostly sing songs about his mum’s teapot?

all my friends

Why is it such a cheery colour. Continue reading “17 Brilliant Album Covers”

Shit Days Out For Kids

Shit Days Out For Kids

When I was a kid, I had a list of places I’d rather have gouged my own eyes out than visited. But because my parents hated me, they made me go to them every fucking Saturday. And they wouldn’t let me gouge my eyes out, even just for something to do.

Because I can’t get back to sleep and I’ve got nothing better to do, let’s relive these childhood traumas together.

Caravan Showrooms

CV1

Not technically rooms, but I can’t be arsed to look up the proper word. Sue me. Anyway, gravel infested squares of hell. Continue reading “Shit Days Out For Kids”

The 15 Best Drunk Fighting Moves

The 15 Best Drunk Fighting Moves

Since we’re all stuck at home and forced to do shit like hobbies and learning, why not use this time to brush up on your fighting skills?

Sometimes, the classic moves such as ‘nipping’, ‘shin kicking’ and ‘running away’ do not always work if your goal is to look like the supreme badass of the universe. So my number one fighting tip to you is ‘get hammered off your tits before having a fight’. That way, you will acquire all the skill and grace needed to become a seasoned fighting champion. Continue reading “The 15 Best Drunk Fighting Moves”