Like anyone who’s ever been stuck in a queue in Tesco, I’ve wanted to throw shit at people. However, I rarely do so. This is due to a combination of factors:
– fear of the rozzers
– wanting to complete purchase of pop tarts
– laziness
– not wanting to touch poo
However, those plucky inventors have been at it again, and have devised an ingenious weapon for slinging poo at your enemies:
Lads, look at this page of mental illness from the Mr T annual:
In the spirit of ‘fuck it, put some jokes in, that’ll fill a page’, the writers of this annual appear to have never met Mr T, heard of Mr T, or even used the letter T before.
Even Mr T looks confused.
Like all weirdos, I love Sonic the Hedgehog, I always have. I even have a tattoo of the blue bastard on my arm. However, even I draw the line at Sonic’s behaviour as demonstrated in his official 1991/92 annual.
Sorry, YEARBOOK.
‘Blue blur’? More like ‘Fucking dickhead’, as we will discover.
I bought this, which is definitely not trying to be a Transformer:
It’s not a Transformer, it is a SUPER ROBOT, can’t you read? It is a Dirt Boss (or an Oirt Boss, hard to tell) from the Change Series, and it is 5 powerful. Continue reading “Corner Shop Crap: Roberts in disguise”
Check it out lads, I’ve found the world’s shittest plate:
Right, imagine you’ve just made a Christmas themed plate with all cats on it. I don’t know why you’ve done this, maybe someone was pointing a gun at you. Anyway, what do you call it? Continue reading “A plate full of cats”
I hate using the phone. I’m guessing you all hate using the phone too. This is because they have the ability to turn a harmless human being into a frightening, disembodied voice. Most telephones also come with an inbuilt translation device, which turns phrases like ‘Hello, can I speak to Mr Jones please?’ into ‘I am a demon spawn and I like to drink my own wee.’
If only there was a handy, out of date instructional film to show us how to use the phone properly.
I present to you – The Telephone At Work, which tells you everything you need to know about using the telephone at work. In 1972. Continue reading “How to use the phone in 1972”
Just a small thing today, because I’m still not very well, but I thought we could have a look through some lovely football stickers. And since I am in a generous mood, I shall be handing out awards for the best ones. The footballers in question won’t actually get anything, or know they’ve won, but IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS OK.
(Spoiler alert: still off my tits on cough medicine lads.)
