The other day I felt unsafe. This was because I’d eaten 24 jaffa cakes in a row and then I couldn’t stop farting. I’d challenge anyone to feel on top of their game after an experience like that.
It taught me how important it was to not take your life into your own hands, so once my bum had returned to normal I decided to be proactive. I watched an informative safety video, hosted by that bastion of public responsibility, Sooty.

Learn With Sooty: Be Safe is all about how to not die if you are a hand puppet and are not alive anyway.
Fun fact: I misspelled this as ‘Lear With Sooty’, which would have been an interesting introduction to Shakespeare for the under-5s.
Will not make a hand up arse joke. Will not make a hand up arse joke. Will not make a hand up arse joke.
We follow Matthew and the gang around during a typical day. A typical day in their house includes a surprising number of life threatening accidents and stunts. Obviously, since Sooty is sort of magic and invincible, and Soo is a nagging, sensible cow, the task of getting injured falls mostly to Sweep, because Sweep is the best one. I can’t imagine how much more popular this video would have been had it just been clips of Soo getting horribly maimed. Shut up Soo, no one likes you and you smell. Continue reading “Health and safety with Sooty” →