You know what’s a lot of fun? Getting pissed to block out the pain. It’s one of Britain’s oldest traditions, along with queuing and tutting.
These days, I tend to stick to hipster gin and nice wine, because I am a twat. Back in the day, though, the world of alcohol was a wonderful and mysterious one. Adults would get together to drink these brightly coloured potions that transformed them from sad to happy to sad again, only more sad than before. Also they smoked ciggies and talked about “Alan who did you-know-what with the Avon lady”.
Meanwhile, the kids would be banished to the corner of the room, with our She Ra figures and our Panda Pops, trying to hear the adults’ conversation because you knew they were going to say ‘willy’ at some point, because that’s what adults say.
I’m getting a bit off topic here. The point is that there was some interesting booze knocking about when I was younger. Granted, these days we have ‘hand-pissed violet and beef gin’, but does that have Lorraine Chase advertising it? It does not.
Let’s begin with a classic – one of the first alcopops, which meant 13 (cough I mean 18) year olds like me didn’t have to drink stuff that tasted like Chanel No. 5. Continue reading “A review of 80s and 90s booze”
This Sunday (24th Feb) I’ll be live on Twitch from Midday to Midnight as part of GameBlast 19, raising money for a charity called Special Effect.
For extra fun and japes, I’ve never done a livestream before. Nothing can go wrong.
Special Effect are a group of tech geniuses who provide specialist and modified gaming and computer equipment to people with disabilities. The equipment they provide is tailored to each individual need, and is completely free of charge. They also provide pioneering “Stargaze” equipment, allowing users to control computers with eye movements. (Seriously, I think they might be wizards.)
Below are a few videos showing the work they do, and the people they help:
If you’d like to join me, please follow me on Twitch (theworldofcrap) and check out the Just Giving page for the livestream.
I’ll be playing Stardew Valley for 12 hours straight, so please come and keep me company. If you’re not familiar with it, Stardew Valley is an awesome farming/dating sim in the style of the Harvest Moon series. I’m really counting on people joining me on Twitch and keeping me sane as I grow 30,000 parsnips, and follow villagers around until they agree to marry me. Help a good cause, and witness me having a slow nervous breakdown. There’s literally no downside to this.
Hope to see you guys there!
First a disclaimer: this wasn’t actually the tin of biscuits I wanted to talk about. I assumed it was, but then I realised there was a complete lack of pink wafers. I assumed this must be one of these modern switch outs. Then I did a little digging and apparently the biscuit selection I so fondly remembered was in fact this:
I had no idea they were called Rover. It was simply “The Tin of Biscuits”; not The Biscuit Tin, that was just another name for The Biscuit Barrel. I tried to get a box of these to review, but they no longer appear to do them. Much like the cars of the same name.
Their tins will of course live on, in the houses of the elderly, filled with buttons, yellowing photographs, insurance documents and hoarded incandescent lightbulbs “because these energy savers are SO dark!”.
So Family Circle it shall be. It must also be stated that they’re not even a tin any more. I’m pretty certain they went through an interim period of using plastic and now we’re on a very thin and basic cardstock. In terms of sustainability I can’t fault this trend in the slightest; from a point of trying to have a nostalgic experience however, this is utterly lacklustre. Continue reading “World Of Crap reviews Family Circle biscuits”
Me and Alex have both had horrible flu this week, and are now at the ‘malingering’ stage. As a result, we’ve had lots of time to sit there clicking random things on the internet. One stop on our travels was the subreddit r/DeepIntoYouTube, which is a lovely and not at all terrifying knackers yard for forgotten or otherwise unloved YouTube videos. Because I am nice, I thought I’d share the best ones I found.
Disclaimer: I genuinely love some of these. With others, I’m just taking the piss a bit. I’ll leave you to decide which is which.
All the unnecessary parts of a chair
A cutting commentary (pun not even intended, I’m just that good) on needless consumerism, accompanied by accidental rude noises and a bonus ‘will he fall/won’t he fall’ feature.
A spoof advert that I may or may not be dreaming as I type this. Continue reading ““Man shouts at pony”: A selection of YouTube videos”
I’m no good at serious stuff, but I just wanted to say goodbye to an entire generation’s second dad.
If, like me, you love going on the Ball Slammer, the Pisswazzer, or Steve: The Ride, then chances are you were a regular on shit 20p kids’ rides during your childhood. For just 20 of your parents’ hard-earned p, you would climb on, or strap yourself in, or just sit there, and whoosh off to giddying heights of up to TWO FEET off the ground. Alternatively you’d whizz around at stomach churning speeds of 0.5mph.
I loved them, and here are my top five 20p rides –
5. Postman Pat
You sit in Pat’s van (right next to Pat, if you please), and the van… wobbles about a bit. The end.
This became popular a bit after my ride-riding career, but that never stopped me attempting to fit in the van as a large child, and then as a teenager, and then as a 34 year old woman. They don’t like me in our Morrisons. Continue reading “The top five 20p rides”