Right, I don’t know much about V, I’ve never watched it, but I do know it’s a show about evil mind-altering aliens that take over the world, and was written as an allegory of Nazi Germany. Given this, it seems like an odd choice to release a tie-in annual filled with comics, jokes and wordsearches. Yet here we are.
This was sent to me by one of my more awesome readers, Fox (@Flamekebab), under the assumption that I would somehow write something intelligent about it. I did no such thing. Instead, I knobbed around laughing at the illustrations, having a crack at the board game (because of course there’s a board game in there), and then I ate a whole tub of ice cream. Continue reading “A look through the 1986 V annual”
Look what Alex bought me from the charity shop:
I’ll be honest – initially, Alex was more excited than I was. I was mostly just confused and I needed a piss.
First thought: Why has he bought me a novelisation of Barb Wire?
Second thought: There’s a novelisation of Barb Wire?
Third thought: I still need a piss.
Eagle eyed readers will spot that he also bought RoboCop, Knight Rider, and the best Batman film. I’ll get to those. Continue reading “Exploding Dicks: 4 Stupid Action Movie Novels”
If humanity can learn one thing from history, it’s that people used to be really shit at drawing. This is especially true when it comes to royal commemorative plates.
Do you remember when BBC News interviewed that random taxi driver instead of the proper guest? I suspect something similar kept happening during the reign of William and Mary, when it was time to design royal plates.
“You there! Tally ho, you’re late! You better start cracking on with your design.”
“Cor blimey guv, I’m just the local dead body removal man.”
“None of your lip what ho, here’s a felt tip, now get to work!”
Continue reading “Boobs And MS Paint: Shit Royal Plates”
Hi gang. Over on my Patreon, me and Alex have just finished a 6 part series where he taught me to play Grand Theft Auto V. I was brilliant at the game and absolutely nothing went wrong.
We’ve put together a highlights video, because we’re nice. Continue reading “Video: Let’s Be Shit At GTA V”
In this episode, Zippy comes up with a genius plan to swindle everyone out of money. Or food. Or to sell them a time share. I’m not sure. Something dastardly anyway.
George has decided to start collecting leaves, like the hoarding mental patient he is.
He has three so far. That is not a collection George, that is you deciding to start carrying three leaves around with you for no real reason. And where are you getting leaves from? All your trees are cardboard and the apples on them have to be attached with nails.
Zippy turns up and pretends to be interested in George’s mental breakdown. Look at his interested face.
Remember earlier when I said that Zippy has a genius plan to con everyone? You might want to keep that in the back of your mind. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: The Real Hustle”
Hello, how are you? I am fine. Do you like to to spend your weekends blocking out your pain by drinking stuff? Me too! This hobby is called “getting hammered off your tits”, and has recently been given a classy makeover by the inclusion of “cocktails”. Cocktails are when someone puts a bunch of random drinks together, and includes shit that should never see the inside of a glass. Then they add a sprig of mint, and call it “The Jim Bowen” or whatever.
I’ve decided that too many cocktails include olives or lemon or some other nonsense, so I’m going to share my own cocktail recipes with you. I’m not sure what they are yet, because to be honest I’m thinking them up as I go, but I’m sure they’ll be brilliant. Continue reading “The World Of Crap Cocktail Hour”