A while ago, I realised how shit/brilliant some Sega Master System box art is. I didn’t play many Master System games, but I’m pretty sure I never played games about microwaves, self aware peas, or any of the other abominations on the covers I’ve seen.

Anyway, these things keep making themselves known to me, and cataloguing them is better than doing actual work, so here are some more.

Alex Kidd: High-Tech World

“Excuse me while I threaten you outside the Eden Project.” Also, I don’t see what’s so high-tech about a fight between a guy with a sword and a guy with a hand. Continue reading “More stupid Master System box art” →

Lads, I’ve made a Patreon page. This is to replace the ‘donate’ button on my blog, because I do try not to be a money grabbing ho. I really appreciate all the donations from you guys this year (I didn’t think I’d get so many), so I figured I’d start giving you extra stuff.

Anyway, here are my tiers:

(Disclaimer: it’s all in American, and I don’t know how to change that because I am an idiot and a div.)

Continue reading “The World of Crap Patreon” →

A while ago I showed you guys my collection of He-Man figures, who all live in a rest home together because they are knackered.

I didn’t start out intending to collect rubbish figures, but you know, they were cheap. Over time we became a family, and I started adopting more knackered figures that would otherwise have ended up on the mean streets, giving sexual favours for crack.

Look, it’s very early in the morning as I’m writing this.

Anyway, today I’d like to show you some more of my beloved figures. Imagine the Raggy Dolls or a similar heartwarming tale, only all the characters were bought off Ebay by a drunk woman because ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’.

Best Man

I like Best Man because his face has fallen off a bit. We can all relate to that. He’s still the best though. Look how best he is. I’m pretty sure there was an episode where he tried to fuck Teela, although I might have imagined that. Continue reading “The shit action figure showcase” →

Like anyone who’s ever been stuck in a queue in Tesco, I’ve wanted to throw shit at people. However, I rarely do so. This is due to a combination of factors:

– fear of the rozzers

– wanting to complete purchase of pop tarts

– laziness

– not wanting to touch poo

However, those plucky inventors have been at it again, and have devised an ingenious weapon for slinging poo at your enemies:

Continue reading “Corner Shop Crap: the poo of vengeance” →

Lads, look at this page of mental illness from the Mr T annual:

In the spirit of ‘fuck it, put some jokes in, that’ll fill a page’, the writers of this annual appear to have never met Mr T, heard of Mr T, or even used the letter T before.

Even Mr T looks confused.

Continue reading “Mr T tells shit jokes” →