Rainbow episode review: Where in the world is Bungle Bear?

I don’t want to alarm you, but this episode is all about the time Bungle escaped. Don’t worry though, they do eventually round him up with the help of tranquilizer darts and/or Rod.

We begin with Bungle giving us the finger.

“I’m running away,” he declares. “I’ve got 20p and a hairy arse, I’m all set.”

Not really, although it would be hilarious to watch Bungle take his chances on the mean streets of wherever the fuck it is they live. In reality, he’s just going to the shop for some sweets. However, he has made the dangerous and fatal decision to GO ON HIS OWN. Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Where in the world is Bungle Bear?” →

Stupid Video Game Box Art: Football Edition

You know what sucks? I can’t whinge about Leeds never winning anything now. That’s OK, because I have a long list of complaints I like to entertain people with. These include, but are not limited to:

– Itchy bum
– It’s too bastard hot
– Why are the adverts so loud
– Vernon Kay

Anyway, even though it’s now deprived me of one of my favourite pastimes, I thought I’d celebrate a successful season by taking you through the finest football box art on offer. Spoiler alert – only one of these features Kevin Keegan. Double spoiler alert – don’t worry, I didn’t forget to include Peter Beardsley.

European Football Champ

This looks fine until you study it for more that six seconds. Consider the following: None of these people are playing football, or are attempting to play football. Even the man who’s supposed to be kicking the ball is nowhere fucking near it. The rest of the players have decided to use this time to settle their differences via a series of unrelated fights. The one exception to this is the guy lying on the floor, who just wanted to play football god damn it, and now he’s crying.

And one person in the crowd has brought a hundred balloons with them, maybe as part of a tax dodge.

Continue reading “Stupid Video Game Box Art: Football Edition” →

Rainbow episode review: Gone With The Wind

This episode is about two things:

1. Having wind
2. Getting your cock stuck

Let’s begin. The gang are in bed, but they can’t sleep because they’ve just heard a terrifying noise.

Pop quiz. Have they just heard:

A) The wind
B) A murderer
C) Four ghosts Continue reading “Rainbow episode review: Gone With The Wind” →

An update on my Patreon

Hi gang, just wanted to give you all an update on changes I’m going to be making to my Patreon (this won’t affect any existing patrons except for the top tier, who I’ve spoken to already).

Anyway, long story short is I’ve had to suspend my top Patreon tier for the time being, due to shops being shut. Given this, I figured I’d shake up my tiers a bit. I am nothing if not exciting.

I’m going to add a new $1 tier (probably called Rod, as Rod is a gigachad) that you can back if you just want to support my stuff. The $5 tier (Bungle) will still get access to the archive, videos, and in the very near future, some exclusive articles. The new highest tier (George, $15) will carry on getting everything, including exclusive Rainbow comics.

Thank you so much to everyone currently backing me, it means so much; it means I can (with enough budgeting) work full time on my books. I’m spending every waking hour on my next book (and the World of Crap Annual), and after that I’ll be free to shit out content at a much faster rate. Bear with me, and thank you again guys xxx

If you’d like to support my stuff, your support is really welcome xx

Stupid VIC-20 Box Art

Recently, Alex has been acquiring some old games (completely above board, don’t even worry about it). Anyway, because I’m stupid and a div, naturally I’m more interested in the boxes than in playing any of the games. This is especially true of the Commodore VIC-20, with its enchanting selection of oil paintings, terrifying memes, and pictures done in an Etch a Sketch.

Join me on a magical journey of racist eggs, sex pests, and bottles of piss…

Bandits

“Help, help! This… TV is trying to steal my… fruit. No officer, I’ve only had a few ales…”

Continue reading “Stupid VIC-20 Box Art” →

Rainbow Episode Review: RoboCrap

You know those episodes where Geoffrey manages to fool the others and is really pleased with himself, despite the fact that the others have a combined IQ of 9? Those ones are the best. Case in point – the one where Geoffrey left the room and decided to come back in AS HIS OWN UNCLE.

This is one of those episodes, and it is brilliant.

We begin with a knock off C3PO and R2D2 working in a cafe, for reasons. Malcolm Lord (not Bungle at this point but will go on to be Bungle) is their only customer, and they still manage to bollocks his order up.

I want to know which set they stole those robots off. Continue reading “Rainbow Episode Review: RoboCrap” →

Kill It With Fire: Terrifying Fancy Dress

Have you ever needed to dress up for a children’s party, London Marathon or similar, but have ended up thinking ‘I wish I could scare the shit out of some people while I’m doing this’? Well, I’ve got you covered.

Cheap and cheerful is the theme of today’s post, as we have a look through the best budget mascots – perfect for thrifty people who have never seen the original in their entire fucking lives.

Hello Kitty

If you look into its eyes hard enough, you can see the actual physical manifestation of ‘despair’. Nice pointy arms though, handy for stabbing unruly children. Continue reading “Kill It With Fire: Terrifying Fancy Dress” →

Rainbow Comic: Bareback Bungle

Some weird Mr T shit I found

You know who loves Mr T? Everyone. You know who else loves Mr T? Shoddy merchandise companies in the 80s. And, for some reason, Aston Villa (I’ll get to that).

Since you’ve got nothing better to do, why not have a look at some cool, hard and rad Mr T stuff with me? And when you’ve finished doing that, remember to eat right and stay in school, or whatever.

Literature

Such as this classic, ‘The Best Bike Ever’. I’ve never managed to actually read this book, mainly because I’ve never bothered buying a copy. However, we can deduce from the cover that the story is about Mr T nicking some girl’s bike.

He looks so pleased with himself. Continue reading “Some weird Mr T shit I found” →