We might put the Christmas tree up tonight, although we might not bother and just sit there staring instead. Plus, I need to work on the following screenplays.
If you steal my ideas I’ll cut you.
Santa Vs Girls Aloud
Girls Aloud are trying to cancel Christmas because they can’t be bothered. Especially that blonde one. It’s up to Santa (played by Jason Statham and that blonde one off Girls Aloud) to stop them. There’s a good bit where Statham has a fight with the ginger one outside a Netto.
The Man Who Kicked Christmas
In this charming Jason Statham biopic, Statham (played by Jason Statham) must apologise to Santa for kicking him in a pub last week. It’s a race against time to find Santa and send him a sorry note and some nice pot pourri before he cancels Christmas. The twist is that Santa isn’t real, and Statham actually kicked a tramp but he was pissed so he got a bit mixed up.